Gabriel

3. Jumper

Wonderwall - Oasis

Happy readings! :)

~~~

I wake up to light filtering through my room. Checking the clock, it gives me only fifteen minutes before school. I groan as I flip from my front to my back , then into a sitting position. Fück it. I won't show up. It won't matter anyways.

But then I realize that if I don't show, they'll call my father and then he'll come home and beat the sh!t out of me. Again.
And I don't want to leave this world in pain.

But that thought leaves my mind as I try to sit up. I can barley breathe when I'm standing. But I somehow manage to anyways. Limping over to my mirror, I see a busted lip and at least half my face is black and blue.
I grab a pair of jeans, but they don't fit. I want to cry. How can I be so fücking fat when I don't even eat that much. I guess it's the snickers bars.
I take them off as well as I can without hurting my side too much. I think a rib is cracked it hurts so much. I grab two Advil and down them with some water by my bed.

Then, I go to the closet and pick out my favorite dress. I'll die in in style. I don't even know why I care at all, I think as I walk downstairs with my notebooks and a pen. I cover my arms with a jacket and my legs are concealed by knee-high socks.

Once at school, I feel like I can barley breath. Not just because of my ribs but it's like I'm suffocating, yet no one can see me dying.

I trudge through the halls lifelessly, and get only a few stares, luckily even though I didn't put on make up to cover the bruises or the busted lip. The people that do notice don't care, otherwise they would have told a teacher to call the authorities. I guess this was some twisted last cry for help.
Just then Lindsay Hawthorne rounds the corner with minions on her tail and sees me. For a second, a look of confusion crosses her face, probably seeing the bruises half-hidden by my hair. Then it returns to her normal sour look.
"Loser", she mutters as she walks past. Then she smacks my books down for my hands.
"Whups! My bad", she says sarcastically, letting a little fake giggle escape. I just stare as the books that now lay scattered on the ground. The metaphor for my life almost makes me smile. Ah, the irony.

But I stay numb to anything and everything. It's the last straw. And that's all it takes for me to walk away, leaving her standing there in confusion with my notebooks on the ground in front of her. I keep walking though the hallway like I'm on autopilot. 

I feel nothing.

I see what I was looking for; the door that leads to the roof. I open it just as the first bell rings and everybody is in class. I take the stairs one at a time with my ribs aching after every step. I finally reach the top and open the door, being hit with a fresh morning breeze. It's chilly but I welcome the cold.

I get to the ledge and climb on, placing my butt on the edge, with my feet danging over. I look at the four stories down and sigh. I sit there for the longest time, just staring at the horizon. You can see the entire town from here. It brings me some sense of peace to have spent the last of my life alone, in a beautiful way. A tear I didn't realize was there escapes.
I don't know why I didn't just jump right when I got there, but I felt something holding me back.
It wasn't fear.
It wasn't pain.
Maybe it was hope.
But most of all, I felt like I was searching for a missing piece. Some last part of my life that wasn't complete. But it's okay. I stand up, wincing at the pain in my ribs. Then I remember the last few lines of my favorite book ever written; The Lovely Bones.

I utter them to myself, changing the main character's name to my own, having something to say that only I will know.
"My name is Gray, like the color . First name: Maeve. I was here for a moment, and then I was gone. I wish you all a long and happy life."
And as I was about to take that last step, I heard the one voice that could send chills up my spine.
"I wish you the same".