Quote of the day: "Pizza and I are getting married. And then we will have pizza children...and I'll eat them."- Moi (that means "me" in French)
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Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut-up.
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If people in horror movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
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Person 1: I just got back from the hospital!
Person 2: Omg why???
Person 1: My Mom had twins!!! :):):):)
Person 2: OMG HOW MANY????
Person 1: ...
Clara. She's a keeper.
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I don't always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking to make it worse.
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When I play a fighting game, I press random buttons and hope for the best.
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Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson?
Me: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
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Dear face wash commercials, nobody, actually splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my whole damn bathroom floor is wet.
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Mom look! "Oh, that's nice sweetie" Oh that's cool how you saw without looking.
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You+me= aWEsome
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Mom: "What are you doing?"
Me: "I'm upstairs being a teenager" I say, as I text and listen to music.
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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.- Ellen DeGeneres
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Funny annoying things
HumorFunny and annoying things that will make you say "so true "
