Angela

Chapter twelve

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Every second spent isolated, alone and drowning in my grief are forgotten in that one magical second in which I hear his voice. This boy cares about me, even though we only just met so much emotion in a kiss however accidental that kiss was has to speak for something. He cares about me, and like Hazell and the old Bianca, that makes me determined to hang onto them.
I am a prostitute, I seek love and human closeness in order to get what I need to survive, I don't really love him. I can't when I've known him for such a small amount of time. I just need someone to want me, and George wants me so he gives me what I need. I am a prostitute. I do not seek the simple guilty pleasures of human closeness nor do I make love for money but I love George so that he will love me, because that is what kind of sick, twisted monster I am.
But deep down I know that is not true.

His breath seems to paralyse me, the soft puffs of warm air of which he exhales hug my mangled face. Keeping me warm, Hazell whispers something in a choked tone that never reaches me but passes on it's message to me just as well. Me becoming blind has hurt her just as much as it has hurt me, her only proper guardian is now just as helpless and afraid as she is, maybe even more so. I hear George speak in earnest to the same nurse and feel a buzz of anger flash behind my eyes. If they are trying to say something then just say it out loud!

But no, like everyone else they feel too sorry for me,the poor pitiful blind creature. Not worth living, condemned to the depths of darkness forever, never to find her way back to the light...
"Hi," Even his voice sets something off inside me, a buzz, a happy tingle.
I long more than anything to hear him speak again but I know that whatever he does in these seconds will be part of the chain reaction of pity and awkwardness currently taking place in the ICU.
Without thinking I call out his name.

My voice echoes loud and hoarse from underuse, bouncing off the sterile walls of the unit. I feel my cheeks burn red with embarrassment and only hope that the bandages obscuring the horrific mess of my eyes are hiding the fact that inside I am cringing like never before.
"Angela, you can speak!" Yells Hazell and I automatically smile at the happiness and innocence in her high, clear voice. She has no idea how much she means to me. Her little monkey arms wrap around me and for a second I forget the woe that is my life, I forget I am blind and will have to live the rest of my life in darkness, I forget about mum and dad. She is my sister, and she will always be my sister, and that matters most. The beautiful second is interrupted by some bastard tapping me on the shoulder.
"Hey, dudettes, keep it PG will you?"
I turn around to greet George the Interrupter with my empty eye sockets narrowed in anger.
"She's my sister,"
I hiss back, I'm not as angry as I'm showing but I think George and Hazell both think I am, Hazell backs away. She leaves me alone tangled up in my cold, crisp sheets and goes to stand next to George.
"So, um, how have you been keeping. Hazell, George." I break the empty silence,
"About to ask you the same thing,"
I narrow my non- existent eyes at him again, he's being unusually cocky today, but then again. I like the fact that he is trying to cover up all the dismall atmosphere inside the ICU, I have been alone so long I need some humour in my life.
"Yeah, um, good." Hazell replies, swiping a quick glance at George which is intentionally noisy.
"Do you know?" She demands,
"About your mum and dad, yes." George replies shortly, his tone dropping. Now is not the time for George's humour.
"Well, then, not really good. Dad got better and started fixing my roof but he got impatient because the wooden thingy kept falling down and he hit me when I asked if I could help," She took a deep breath, taking in my appalled face.
"Then I got upset because I shouted for mum because I wanted her to help me put the yellow stuff on my bruises and I got sad 'cos she wasn't there and then I cried on your pillow for a bit because dad was still busy in my room and I found your phone."

I sigh, I know what's coming next. She called George, my lover.
This is going to take some explaining.