Running Into Destiny (Niall Horan)

Chapter 16:Ten Weeks without Natalie

So this is pretty much the same as the last chapter, just in Niall's point of view this time.

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Week One:

I honestly don't know how the other lads can do it. How they can continue on with the tour like nothing is wrong? Am I the only one who feels like their heart has been brutally ripped from their chest and crushed by an anvil? No, I'm most likely not. I guess they're much better at pushing these feelings aside by now. This is the first time I've had a girlfriend while being in the band, so I've never had to deal with all of this. I wish I could be stronger and were able to push it aside and put off a better facade for the fans, but it's hard to do so when you feel like you are slowly being ripped apart. And that is how I feel because I can't have Natalie beside me. The lads can see just how badly I am hurting and have very kindly been giving me the space that I need. For that I am grateful.

All I want is to be able to hold Natalie tightly in my arms and kiss the top of her head as she lays on top of my chest. To be able to get lost in her mesmerizing eyes and have her start blushing because she doesn't understand why I would choose her. I want to be able to wake up in the mornings with her in my arms. I just want to be able to spend proper time with her. She doesn't deserve to date a guy where the majority of their dates are held over Skype. Natalie deserves more than what I can give her.

Week Two:

I can't believe them! How could they have even thought about doing that to me? To Natalie?! How could they have been so inconsiderate? They should thank their lucky stars that they shut their mouths before they could have said anything that would jeopardize the privacy of Natalie and I's relationship. Neither of us want the world to know just yet, and the twitter picture debacle had just begun to fizzle out. I want to protect her from the hate for as long as I possibly can.

Speaking of Natalie, I still miss her like crazy. Talking to her every night on Skype is the only thing keeping me going to be honest. A part of me feels like if I go too long without talking to her I'll forget what her lovely voice sounds like, or the way her laugh gives me goosebumps on my arms. God I love the way her eyes crinkle and her nose scrunches up when she laughs.

Thankfully Natalie's been laughing more this week and her smiles have become more genuine. She seems to be doing better, which ultimately makes me feel better. It seems to be my attitude reflects hers. The lads have been joking, saying I'm on my man period. I just roll my eyes and laugh along with them.

Week Three:

Natalie seems to be upset again. She mentioned that her friend Jimmy has been acting weird lately. I can see how worried she is about him. So, to cheer her up the lads and I have been sending her funny pictures. I like sending her one's where I'm making goofy faces. My idea seemed to be working out at first, but in the end I could see that it was actually making things harder for her. And because Natalie has been feeling gloomy, I too have been feeling more subdued.

The fans are starting to notice my change in attitude, some even asking me if I'm doing okay on Twitter and at the concerts. I can't tell them the truth, so I'm forced to lie. I hate lying to our fans but it's all I can do for now. The lads are understanding but I think even they have had enough of me moping about, so Friday night they drag me out to some club. I end up drinking away my sorrows, waking up with a pounding head ache for the first time in a long time and no recollection of the previous night. Later on I find out that Louis sent Natalie a video of me rambling on about her to Liam. I have to admit it was pretty funny, but now Natalie won't stop giving me shit about it.

Week Four:

I don't get it. Why won't Natalie just tell me what's going on?! Something happened to her, she's not at all the same girl she was two days ago. Does she not trust me? Does she not want me to worry? Well by not telling me it's just making me worry even more. Not to mention pissing me off as well. I finally got so frustrated that I threw a glass at my dressing room wall. Liam and Zayn sat me down and made me talk after that.