Running Into Destiny (Niall Horan)

Chapter 24: Coming Clean

Natalie's P.O.V.

I had been standing here in front of his door for five minutes, too afraid to ring the doorbell. Three years have passed since I last saw my father. My nerves felt like someone had drenched them in gasoline and lit them on fire. I was afraid of what he might have to say to me. If it's anything like what I heard him say to my mom before he left, then I don't want to hear it. I've already been told those things more times than I can count.

Gathering up the little amount of courage I could muster, I finally rang the doorbell. The door quickly swung open a few seconds later, inside stood my father. A lot about him has changed since I last saw him, most of it due to age. His dark brown hair was peppered with grey strands, the color of his eyes went from a dark astonishing blue to a saddened blue-grey, deep set wrinkles have formed in his forehead and he seemed to have lost some weight.

A small smile pulled up the corners of his lips as he invited me inside. He surprised me by pulling me into a gentle, loving hug. Something I hadn't really expected from him. I cautiously wrapped my arms around his waist, unsure of what else I should do.

"I'm so glad that you agreed to have dinner with me," his foreign voice rang through my ears.

"It's nice to see you too," I replied quietly.

"Come on, dinner's already on the table," he said as he led me to the small dining room. 

After attempting to making small talk, and dad trying to crack a couple of jokes, I finally let my curiosity get the best of me.

"Why did you want to see me all of a sudden?" I asked quietly as I circled my corn with my fork. My dad remained silent for a moment as he gathered his thoughts.

"Well, a year after I left I nearly died from alcohol poisoning. After that happened I realized that I was throwing my life away and that I needed to get better. So I started seeing a councilor and I have been sober for roughly two years. My councilor had suggested that I apologize to all of those that I had hurt when I wasn't handling my problems properly. I realize that I should have done this a long time ago but I could never find the words to say, and even now I find it hard but I'm trying.

"Natalie I am so sorry that I couldn't look beyond my own pain to see how you were holding up. You couldn't have felt any better than I did. I'm sorry that I wasn't the dad that you deserved. But more important than anything else, I am so incredibly sorry for blaming you for something you had absolutely no control over."

I looked downwards as I felt the tears well in my eyes.

"But you were right to blame me. It's my fault that Jake can't live out his dreams and become the amazing person he was destined to be," I whispered.

"Natalie, your brother died saving your life. You did not kill him."

"Then why was I told that it was my fault that he was dead every day for the next two years of my life?" I questioned quietly, refusing to look up at my father.

"What are you talking about Natalie?" my dad asked, actually seeming to care.

"Nothing I'm talking about nothing," I replied sternly before shoving mashed potatoes into my mouth so I couldn't reply to whatever he was going to say next.

"That wasn't nothing Natalie," he said back with just as strong a tone.

"Yes it was," I mumbled.

"No, tell me. Did people bully you in high school, blaming you for Jake's death?" he asked softly.

"No," I replied weakly.

"You know, I could always able to tell when you were lying," he said looking at me with sad eyes.