Running Into Destiny (Niall Horan)

Chapter 20: When The Stars Go Blue

Natalie's P.O.V.

Two weeks have passed since I ran out the door on Liam and Niall. Two weeks since Niall had put our relationship out in the open on Twitter. Since then I haven't dared go on any networking sites. I don't want to know if they have figured out who I am yet, and quite truthfully I never want to. The horrible things they will say or have already said about me... I have already had to handle my own unfair amount of bullying in high school. After what happened everyone hated me. They didn't even have to tell me that they did; I could see it in their eyes. No matter how hard they tried to hide it, I saw it. But what they were upset about, what they hated me for, the cruel words they whispered into my ears everyday was the cold hard truth.

I felt Niall's calloused fingertips graze my cheek smoothly, causing me to glance up at his worry-some face.

"Everything okay princess?" he asked lovingly in that Irish accent of his that I simply adored. His baby blue eyes held my gaze captive as he searched my face for an answer like he always did while waiting for my verbal answer.

"I'm not sure Niall," I whispered, forcing myself to look down at our entangled fingers.

"Why, what's going on?" His brow furrowed in concern as he sat up straighter on the comfy couch.

"I haven't really been sleeping all that easily because I'm afraid," I admitted quietly.

"Afraid of what Natalie?" Niall asked softly as he pushed a fallen strand of hair back behind my ear.

"What's going to happen now that we aren't exactly hiding our relationship anymore? You exposed us on Twitter, we can't exactly deny things anymore."

"Well how else was I supposed to find you? You were lost in London with no way for me to contact you." I could hear a hint of annoyance hiding behind his concern.

"You could have called the cops," I stated plainly.

"Like that would have been any better. I can see the headlines now; 'Niall Horan of One Direction leads the man hunt for secret girlfriend!'" Niall scoffed.

"Okay, so maybe it could have gone sourly, but I bet they could have searched discreetly had you asked," I said with a tinge of annoyance towards the way Niall was acting about all of this. He paused for a few seconds before answering.

"Are you saying that you wanted to keep us secret?" There was an unmistakable sadness in his voice making my heart ache.

"Not for forever Niall, just a little bit longer to prepare myself. Because I'm not sure if I'm ready to deal with the hate right at the moment. I know it comes with the territory and they're just saying it because they're jealous but..." I trailed off, not wanting to relive those painful memories.

"Three weeks ago you told me that you could handle it," Niall dragged out in a low voice.

"No Niall. I told you that I was bullied before. I never said that I could handle the hate"

"Well the way you said it seemed to imply that you could." I could hear the annoyance underneath his faltering calm composure.

"You still should have asked Niall! Because if I hadn't brought this up with you tonight, I more than likely would have plastered a fake smile on my face and pretended that everything was okay. I did that every day for two and a half years, I've become damn good at it."

"What... Natalie... what are you saying?" he asked becoming confused and concerned all at once.

"I would have pretended to be happy just so you wouldn't have to worry Niall. But just because I wasn't one to self harm doesn't mean that I never thought about it. I might not have reacted to their cruel words the way they wanted me to in public but that doesn't mean that I didn't cry myself to sleep every night. Their words cut me like knives. There were days where I hated myself so much that I wanted to die, more days than I'd care to admit, but I never tried killing myself because I knew I had to be strong.