The Badger And The Snake; Phan/Harry Potter AU

Thirteen: The Chamber.

The second their lips disconnected, Dan's common sense came back to him. Kissing Phil felt amazing! He had never felt this way. He had never wanted to be with someone all his life as much as he did for those 2 minutes. But the minute he stopped, his thoughts flooded in. Phil seemed to have cured his drunkeness.

What? I'm definitely not gay. I just thought I had a crush on him because we're best friends. I don't like him that way. I don't. I don't. I don't. Being gay is weird. Its wrong. Its unnatural. Everyone will hate you. You don't need to go out with another boy when there are perfectly good girls who would love to date you. Phil doesn't even like you the way you - Phil doesn't like you. He's not gay. He likes girls. I think. Stop being gay! What would Dad say? He would disown you. Don't blow this.

Dan was so consumed in his own thoughts. His stomach twisted to think what everyone would say if he came - He wouldn't be coming out. Straight people don't need to come out.

This was so hard.

Dan wanted to sob and leave. So he just ran, leaving Phil alone. He held in his tears, all the way to the Owlery. He couldn't face the rest of his House. He couldn't. He was a disgrace. How could he even think of being . . .

You know.

What would his mom say? She was loving, but he didn't know how she felt about that.

And all his Muggle friends? Albeit not many, they would probably leave him.

What about Phil?

The most important person in Dan's world. He was probably grossed out. He wasn't blushing. That was all in your head, Dan. He wasn't smiling, that was a grimace.

His thoughts were eating him alive and all he could do was sit in a dark corner and sob silently. It was nearing 12:30am and he wasn't the slightest bit tired. But he wanted to sleep. He needed to sleep. He needed to stop thinking, even if it was only for two hours. He hated himself for thinking he was gay. There's nothing wrong with gay people, he thought. I'm just not one of them.

Just then, he heard a shuffling near the entrance, and a pale girl with bright red hair and big, black square glasses walked around, searching for the source of the noise. She found Dan and crouched down, patting his back.

"Oh, god," she whispered.

"What," snapped Dan. "Are you here to poke fun at me? I'm not gay. Not for Phil. Not for anyone," he corrected himself.

The girl shook her head, a bit shocked by Dan's attitude but she understood why he felt that way.

"I'm not here to make fun of you, babe. I'm here for you. I know you don't know too well but we've been in every class together since first year. Not in a stalkery way, heh."

He noticed her emerald green and silver scarf. She giggled and sat down next to him.

"I saw you kiss your friend. What's his name?"

Dan felt like he could trust this stranger, for some odd reason. She seemed so kind and like she was really listening.

"Phil," he whispered. He didn't know why he felt the need to whisper. He wiped his eyes.

"That's a cute name. Does he like you, too?" Dan shrugged.

"I don't like him. We're just friends. Best friends. I don't know why PJ and Chris had to do that . . . He's probably disgusted beyong words at me right now."

Now the girl shrugged.

"I don't know, Dan. I've seen the way you two look at each other. It's beautiful, really. But if you're strictly friends . . ."