Save Me [A Norman Reedus fanfiction - Part 1 - COMPLETED]

Chapter Six - The Breakdown

When I finally stepped into the saloon, I was still flabbergasted, my mind was still filled with sadness and remorse. I really wanted to wash those feelings off of myself. All of them. I really wanted the old Reira back. The one, who would never let anyone fuck with her mind. The careless, reckless, emotionless Reira.

I was on the verge of crying when I opened the door and walked in.

Suddenly, the smell of the well known shampoo and other chemicals, the sound of vivid chatting and laughing, the sight of the hadn't seen faces... It all brought my mind back to the times when I was on the real edge of death and I crawled towards that, slowly, day by day - but without any doubt. And sorta I wanted it. I didn't know or just didn't care about the people who loved me and watched me playing with death - concerned and full of pain. And I cause them the pain. I made all the sleepless or full of crying days and nights to them. I was the reason of their unhappiness. I was their nightmare. I was Norman's nightmare.

The thought broke the gate of the never cried tears in my soul and I let them flow. I felt like that my heart was near to be ripped apart by the sudden and powerful feeling. A feeling I hadn't felt before.

"Reira?" I heard a familiar female voice through my agony, as it was coming closer and closer to me. I didn't realized that I was falling down on my knees, barely could hold myself from falling apart. I felt arms around my body, holding me. "What's wrong, my sweet darling?" I recognized Eos' voice, like the weird mix of honey and rust.

"My heart..." I pressed the words through my teeth and tears, fighing against the pain inside. "My heart..."

"Sonia, call the ambulance! She's not well!" Eos said to her friend, sitting in her wheelchair, next to the reception counter.

"Naaahhh! Nahh! Please" I begged and tried to get my shit together. "No need..."

"Darling, you're not okay!" Eos disagreed and it made me fight against the pain even more.

I enhaled and exhaled deep and slow to calm myself down and tried not to think about Norman and the past. I just wanted to exist. It took a while until I finally could open my eyes and look up to Eos who was still having a tight grip on me, preventing my falling down.

"Hi." I said in a low tone and I tried to push every love I had into that tiny word. Her eyes filled with tears and she pulled me even closer to her chest, having me in a hug.

"Hi. Hi, Reira! Finally you are here! I've been waiting for you since the day you left, sweetheart!" In her arms, I finally realized that there is no way to be the old Reira again. I can't be that monster anymore. I need to change. I have to take every possibility to change into a better person, a person who will bring joy, sunshine and happiness into her beloved ones' lives. I wanted to show Norman that he was right when he said I can change. That we, together can do it. I so wanted it.