Save Me [A Norman Reedus fanfiction - Part 1 - COMPLETED]

Chapter Twelve - Liar

Kieran's kiss burned the skin of my forehead when I opened my eyes and saw the ceiling of my room in the apartment. Not the one I got from Norman on the first day, because that had firestairs and I used to sneak out of the flat usually. So he put me into the smaller one next to his bedroom, which only had a smaller, properly lockup window and... in time there was railing as well. Like a prison.

As I tried to cling to the memories of my dream or delusion, to remember Kieran and his touch more, I heard that someone was yelling in the room. I didn't have to turn my look at the person to know who it was. Norman was standing a few meters away, walking up and down in my room with his back to me, phone in his fist, pressing it to his ear.

'...Yes, I know that she is capable of relapsing but this is fucking not the case now, she has just come out, two fucking hours ago!... I've tried everything... I shook her, poured water in her face... Sure, she has pulse otherwise I'd... Just fucking help me!'

Norman's voice was full of dread and despair and it made me so sad.

He doesn't deserve this...

I remembered one of the last things what Kieran told me in my dream.

Ya need him as much as he needs ya.

I still didn't know what he meant by this. Why would Norman Reedus, a celebrity and everyone's favourite on the show and in real life need me? Me, the pain in the ass, the junkie slut, the one who only gives pain and suffer to the others. The careless, reckless, emotionless bitch. This thought made me wanna cry and even if I tried, I couldn't hold back the tears. I felt as they rolled down on the side of my temples, into my ears. I just wanted it to end. I couldn't help but let out a whimper which caught Norman's attention as well.

'Nevermind, she's awake!' He yelled it into the phone then hung up and rushed to me. He sat down next to my torso on the bed and looked at me, those blues were filled with concern. 'Are ya okay? Is it hurting anywhere? Yer head?' He jabbered, his hand was halfway to touch my face but he always pulled it back, then forward again, clueless about what to do.

Yeah, my head hurt, I felt the same heavy pounding at the same spot as I did in my dream. But most of the pain were in my soul. The realization that I am a real wreck hit me too hard, even if I always knew deep in my heart. But adding the fact that I hurt Norman more... That was the most painful thing. But he shouldn't know this. Though I was about to change, I didn't want him to get involved. So I lied. 'Yeah, it's my head.' I whispered, attempting to sit up but Norman's hand finally decided to touch me and pushed me back.

'No, no, no. Ya staying. Ya may have concussion. I need to take ya to the hospital.' He said in a serious tone I hated so much.

'I've just come out of one... I don't wanna go back, Norman. I'm fine. Really. Truely.' I tried to assured him but his face stood suspicious. Suddenly, he put his index finger in front of my eyes and started to move it from right to left and back again. I looked in his eyes confused.

'Follow my finger with yer eyes.' He explained and I rolled my eyes instead. 'I'm not gonna let ya stand up until ya make me sure...'

'Okay, okay, okay... Fine.' I hissed annoyed and did what he asked me to do. After four rounds, he finally put his finger down and helped me up into a sitting position. It was the same as in my dream, I felt dizzy and sick, but tried to show him my best shape, so he would drop the subject of taking me back to the hospital.

'Gosh, ya made us so scared!' He whispered while he was burying his face into his palms. Wait...

'Us?'

Norman looked back at me with a know-it-all smile and I already knew who he was talking about. Suddenly, a young and fresh voice called my name.

'Reira! Dad, is she finally awake?' I would recognized that voice from a thousand others. And soon, a bright blond haired head showed up in the doorway, with concerned blue eyes. Just the same as his dad's.

'Mingus...' I breathed out, reaching toward him. Mingus did not hesitated to rush toward me, into my arms and hugged me so tightly, I almost fainted again. He had a wet cloth in his hand and he pressed it to my shirt, making it all wet at the back. But none of us cared.

'You scared the shit out of me, Reira!' He said when we finally let each other go.

'Son, watch yer mouth!' Norman growled at his son, and we both rolled our eyes.

Seriously, isn't he tired of repeating this?

'I just heard you swearing at the phone, Norman...' I let him know and he blushed immediately.

'That doesn't count. She was annoying and detained me to help ya. Ya could have died if that would be on her...' He said, venomuosly. I only could smile at him.

'Poor nurse... You have just had an anti-fan, Norm. And, for your information, I only hit my head, that's not a lethal thing.' I pointed at the truth and he sent me back a look with full of disagreement. For a second, I remembered of Kieran. He only hit his head - into a huge and hard tree, with 200 km/h. 'Anyway...' I changed the subject. '...the man who plays a redneck and flips off everyone in public doesn't have the right to tell us, youngsters, to watch our mouth!' I ruffed with a mocking tone and both of the boys erupted into laughter. I joined them while was trying to finally stand up from my bed.

'Well said, Reira. High five!' Mingus exclaimed and reached his palm to me, but when I wanted to give him a high five, my sight went blurry and I felt as if a huge colony of ants were in my head, running up and down inside of my skull. Energy left my limbs and I felt like I'd faint again, but the boney Mingus got me before I would hit the bed again. Soon, I felt two more arms around my hips, helping me to lay back on the bed.

'Kay, that's it. We're going back now!' Norman shouted and was about to leave the room, but I quickly grabbed his wrist, pulling him back.

'Norman, it's okay, I'm just...' But he didn't let me finish one goddamned sentence.

'No, it's freaking not okay, Reira! Ya keep passin out, somethin isn't right with ya! I want a doc to take a look on ya, NOW!' He explained, but I stood adamant and never let his wrist go. But before I could have told any more, my stomach growled loudly, making it obvious to everyone that I was hungry. Norman just shut up and looked at me like couldn't understand what did it mean.

'I haven't eaten since... In a while.' I confessed, hiding the truth that I hadn't eaten for a whole week and only the drugs kept me alive, but without the medications, my system was about to give up... Norman looked at me with horror in his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief. With a final shake he stopped and closed his eyes to get himself together. After a few seconds, he looked back at me and nodded, processing the infos in his head.

'Ming, order the pizza, please.' He said to Mingus, who left the room straightaway and soon we could hear him talking to the telephone in the kitchen. That was the moment, when I realized that I didn't have a grip on Norman's wrist anymore, but my hand was in his and he was holding it tightly. I doubt he would have realized it either. But then he looked down our holding hands and he started to stroke the sensitive skin of the back of my hand.

'You really scared me.' He whispered, not looking at me, but looking at our hands. 'Don't do this again.'

What would be better? Promising him that I won't scare him ever again and I won't do anything what would be dangerous or too bold? Or telling him the truth that presumably I will make his life even miserable after all the terror I brought him through?

I had just come back home. He's still in belief and he's hoping it's gonna work. But I know it won't. Because, soon, he'll let me go to my way and then I'll fall. All alone, on my own - I am nothing.

But it would have been too soon to kill his hopes. So I did what I always did.

'I won't, I promise.'

I lied.