Depression Doesn't Mean Self Harm.

way to be so blunt

Ever since I said 'let's go' Rachel has been bugging me to speak. Now that I could finally say words without stuttering Rachel had been launching at my throat to hear me talk.

Also today was not really a great day, I've been in this house for more than two weeks with only my new phone (I was given the phone) and Rachel to occupy me. Since the school year is coming both John and Anita had resumed work while Tom was busy with his sports.

This guy plays five sports, FIVE sports while I only played one officially as in on a team, oh yeah I forgot to tell you, there was and Athletes club and since I have a passion for running John drove me down there to apply for it. I run 100m sprint, I've literally been running my whole life.

Ran away from home twice, ran away from getting beaten, God knows how many times to only end up with more hits from my father and disappointed looks from my mother.

Oh yeah I had some really bad news, I have to go to groups and therapy to talk about, you know, therapy worth stuff and the worst thing about it is, is that my first group therapy is on today at 1 till three and my private one is from 3:15 till 4:15 that really suck balls.

Also I had to still take my medication and all because the doctor stated at my last appointment I was still ill and I can have crazy thoughts at times and blah blah blah. To top everything I've said so far this whole thing cost money, right from my phone to my medication.

I kept on refusing to allow Anita or John to pay for anything as my blood parents still had a lot of bills to pay because they were in debt, so Anita and John could just add these costs to their Pilling bills, I have no concerns.

But seeing as my blood parents are so stingy and mean they had already transferred all the bills and medicine needed for what time of day and Anita also told me that I'm their responsibility or parents or guardians, whatever I was going to call them.

I was really grateful that I ended up with them and not replicas of my parents in disguise.

"Make sure to have fun and try and talk " John finished as he dropped me at the group therapy building. "Yes John, I understand, bye" I got out the car and waved a quick bye at John before heading towards the building.

Hanging around Rachel has really boosted my self confidence by miles because I started to talk a bit more at home and felt more comfortable around my new family.

I entered the building and saw the reception, I began laughing at the time Shopa was supposed to help me to the reception and kind of bailed on me at the last minute. Then all my friends names and faces came rushing into my mind.

Exaucee, Evelynn, Shopa, Shawn, Gary, Luke and even Sarah in a way.
I gasped a bit , all of them most think I'm a sick person and almost hurt their friend in school. They'd probably never want to talk to me. I felt really sad but continued to raise my head up and keep telling myself that everything will be alright.

I stood in front of the reception when an Asian woman came towards me from behind the glass and slid it open. "Hi, how can I help you"

"Hi I-i I'm here f-f or group therapy with Roger" I replied smiling , oh shoot I'm stuttering again I thought. "Oh " she said looking at me " name please" she went behind a computer where a desk was at and waited for me to say my name.

"Sophia Martins" I said. She typed my name and chewed on her bottom lip "Sorry sweetie, your name isn't on the computer we only have a Sophia Burke". I smiled at my palms for a minute registering what I was just hearing John and Anita changed my surname to their family name, well not legally yet but they did it with good intentions.

"Yeah sorry I forgot I changed my surname, Sophia Burke" she looked at me and back at the screen. "Parents or guardians name please" she asked to make sure I was the real Sophia and not some pedophile.

"Anita and John Burke" she smiled instantly at me and then rang a buzzer. A few seconds later a woman who was dressed up as a nurse and was asked to bring me to room 921 since it was clear I've never been here before.

Once we entered the room I opened the door a bit and saw a few people sitting in chairs in a circle in the middle of the room . All of them looked around the same age as me, but at the same time they looked as if they didn't want to be hear and just leave, some more than others.

There was a man in a bright orange tracksuit sitting at the top, he had clearly noticed my presence because he started smiling broadly.

"I'm guessing you're the famous Sophia Burke" he said pointing to a seat beside a guy with brown hair and really light blue eyes (not as light as Nash Griers though).

I started walking towards the empty seat and sat down, all eyes still on me. "So Sophia tell us a bit about yourself" Roger insisted "I'm Roger by the way".

I sighed a bit and leaned forward in my chair "I'm 16 years old, I was in rehab for about three months and was adopted at age 16" I said a little to harshly.

"And how are you feeling about being adopted recently" he asked really fascinated. "To be h-h-h honest I'm still adjusting, b-b ut I'm doing okay" I finally finished off, internally face palming myself for stuttering.

"Oh you stutter a bit" Roger asked quickly glancing at his watch I looked around the room and noticed that everyone was still staring at me "Yeah a-a lot l-l-l ate l-l y" I shut my mouth closed hoping Roger would pry onto someone else and thankfully he did.

He moved on to the guy sitting beside me, the guy kept bouncing his leg and drumming his fingers on the side of the chair.

"So Cole tell us a bit about yourself" Roger asked. Everyone turned to look at Cole and I was only thankful the conversation had move from Me to said Cole.

Well' he began "I'm 18, I used to cut because of depression and I have a bit of a lisp" "what letters can't you pronounce " Roger asked really interested as to know what letters Cole struggles at saying.

"My T's" he said struggling to say the letter, lisp present in his voice. A few held back laughs but I just kept looking at Cole and he kept giving me side way glances indicating that my eyes on him was creeping him out.

I gave him a small smile  and he returned it before Roger went onto his next victim, a boy named Benjamin with green and yellow hair.

Sorry guys, ik it's short it's literally 4:02 Am in Europe and I'm trying to stay awake to finish writing this chapter.

Two chapters very early in the morning, you guys owe me.

Well I hope people are having nice sleeps while I'm still awake, lol I don't mind, I love you all.

Please comment and vote

~Semiat