Depression Doesn't Mean Self Harm.

Ummm...

The next morning i woke up feeling absolutly wrecked and tired, I literally did nothing yesterday, so that doesn't explain why I feel like I've been dancing all night. My legs feel numb and lifeless, anyways I should be used to this kind of pain I've been sitting more like lying down on a bed for about three months waiting for death to catch me.

My blinds were open a bit revealing a bit of the sun's light rays, I could've sworn Anita closed my curtains. My bedroom door and toilet door where both open, wide, I didn't know if God or whoever was out there was answering my prayers, but I don't with him to. When I'm starting of clean 'God' wants to take my life away.

I started breathing deeply because I wouldn't know how to react if someone started attacking me or was robbing the house, honestly I would've let them beat me up and steal the house back then but now, I can't.

"H-h-h" I started "h-h". Speak Sophia common. "H-h-h ell" I tried again. I heard footsteps clapping on the passage floor before I saw a figure standing outside my bedroom door. I was about to scream until I saw it was just Tom and he had a blanket on his face, god only knows why.

"Mornin' Soph" Tom yawned scratching his armpit in the process "Anita says I should come wake you up, says you have a busy day ahead of ya". The only thing I could to was attempt to smile or just simply nod.

I had to attempt to smile didn't I, he gave me a side ways glance before walking away from my door, hitting his feet harder on the passage floor.

I groaned and lifted my body of my comfy bed and made my way to the bathroom to freshen up for my upcoming 'eventful' day today, which to be honest I was looking to a bit.

While I finished brushing my teeth I couldn't help but glance at myself in the mirror, observing how I looked now. If I called myself beautiful I would be boasting about myself but at the same time if I said I looked ugly, I'd just make myself feel worse and at the moment I didn't really want to ruin my doable mood.

I glances down at my arms and saw all the cuts which literally covered my whole right left arm(less veins) than my right. I wasn't proud of what I've done but the past is in the past. I traced my finger up and down my left arm, feeling the marks and the skin of my scab peeling off.

I heard a light knock come from my bedroom door and two seconds later Rachel was sitting at the end of my bed looking out my window.

"It doesn't look that bad" she said still looking out the window, I was really confused as to what she meant but kept silent waiting for to carry on, she got the message and faced me "I had this room first, but I didn't like it, it doesn't look that bad"

I gave her a small smile and began tugging the sleeves of my shirt down to hide my mostly picked scabs. I could tell that Rachel was a bit uncomfortable around me but was doing her best to befriend me, either Anita or John's sake. I found her really intimidating at times, she was like a prancing Koala, cute and cuddly but deathly and the same time.

"So we're going shopping today" she looked at he watch and back up to me, "Mom told me to call you so you can have breakfast and we start heading". I nodded at her and slipped the shoes I wore yesterday, since the only outfit I had was the clothes I left rehab with.

We started making our way downstairs where Tom, Anita and John were all seated at the table eating their toast. I sat down beside Tom and waited for a command as for what I should eat and what not to eat.

"Have you never seen food before" Tom asked me gulping down the remainings of his orange juice. Anita gave her him a firm scowl before Tom scoffed and started digging in for more toast.

If I said Tom ate like a pig, I'd me over exaggerating but if I said he ate like two pigs I'd be under exaggerating, so literally he ate like a pig and a half.