The driver, The Girlfriend and Me

Hurting

I lay in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. The feeling of sleeping alone was horrible. It made me feel lonely and unwanted.

It was race day and I knew that I would have to face both Jolyon and Nico at some point.

The ceiling seemed to be my only comfort. But it felt as if it was caving in on me. I sat up quickly and went to my suitcase. I took out a photo in a frame. It was of my parents.

"Are they your parents?" I heard a harsh Yorkshire accent say behind me. Ricky.

"Yeah, well, they were my parents"

"What?"

"Sit down, sit down and I'll tell you"

I could already feel the tears in my eyes.

"I went through a period in my life where my attitude and behaviour were starting to spiral out of control, right around the time I was getting bullied. As my temper got worse they began to hit me. It became a regular thing, even when I wasn't being a twat"

"So...abuse?"

"Yeah, abuse. But one day, when I was 16, I shouted something at them I wished I never had"

"You don't have to tell me"

I ignored him.

"I'd phoned the police a few days ago. After that few days they had stopped, until then at least. I was protecting Alice, my sister, they only wanted the best for us. I yelled...I yelled that I wished they weren't my parents, that I wished they would die. Alice didn't realise what was going on at the time, she was only 10. They...They said sorry to me later that night. They said that they were going to the shops a few miles from our house"

"Shops?"

"We have 24 hour ones near my old house. They went and never came back"

"Oh Sophie"

"We had a knock on the door at 3AM. It was the police. They told us that the car had been speeding, almost three times the speed limit, they didn't make a corner, it was almost a hairpin style, they went off the side of the road and plummeted 150ft to their deaths. All because I wished they would die. A stupid thought from a mindless 16 year old"

"It wasn't your fault. Was it classed as a suicide?"

"They left me and Alice notes saying that they would always love us, even if they weren't there to tell us so. Alice has never seen hers. She...she thinks that they're in prison"

"You told her that?"

"I couldn't tell a 10 year old that her parents had committed suicide because I'd made a stupid mistake"

"I feel so bad for you"

"Don't. Anyway, we need to get back to the track"

***

Everyone still hadn't gotten over the baby shock. My stomach was growing a lot, day by day. You couldn't see it through my t-shirt yet, but I was still getting the mothers urge to hold it. No one spoke to me besides Elisha all race.

"Alex? Can I have a data sheet?" I asked. He grunted and passed me it.

"Thanks..."

Nico wasn't doing well at all, he was in front of Sergio but both were in at least P15 and P16. I didn't want to think of what Vijay or Otmar would say to Nico after the race. They would let Sergio off, because of all the sponsors he brings, Nico would be on the recieving end of everything they had to give.

Even when they were told to push they could only close up on a car, not pass it. The straightline speed of the VJM08 was stupid. It wasn't nearly as fast as we had hoped for. The cornering speed was much better but still not quick enough.

***

As the boys got out of the cars and came over to Vijay, the first thing they did was apologise.

"Don't worry boys, you need to go to the media now, tell them the truth"

Nico walked over to me as I grabbed my phone to record what he was saying.

"So Nico, the pace isn't as good as you expected"

"For sure, we expected it to be much better than what it is but untl we get the aero package sorted out properly we will have to take whatever result we can get"

"Okay, thank you"

I nudged him over to the sky reporters.

They talked about the pace of the car and how it should be and when they expected it to be improved, but then the reporter dropped a bomb that neither of us expected.

"So Nico, this was the latest headline in the newspaper, is there anyway you can explain to us what it's about?"

He looked at me as I waved at the reporter to stop.

"I don't think my press officer will allow it and neither will I" He said, walking away.

***

When Nico and I got back to the garage we thought it was empty. He held my waist unexpectedly and kissed me. I kissed him back. Suddenly, there were footsteps.

"Right! That's it! I've had enough! Sophie! Pack your things, you're gone"

"Bu..but..but"

"No buts. Go"

I grabbed my things from the motorhome with tears in my eyes and went to the airport.

***

On Wednesday I finally had the courage to go to Jolyons house and get my things. I wanted to talk it over with him. I got in my car and drove reasonably slowly to his house, practising what I would say as I went.

By the time I arrived I still didn't know what to say, so I drove around the block where his house was so I could think. In the end I just told myself to go with the flow, so I parked up outside his house.

I knocked on the door. I heard footsteps come down the stairs. He opened the door wearing just his underwear.

"Oh...erm..Sophie...what...what can I do for you?"

"I've not come at a bad time have I?"

"No! Not at all!"

"I think I left some things here, can I just collect them?"

He was about to say something but the door that lead to his room opened. A woman about the same height as me with blonde hair walked out wearing nothing but her underwear. She didn't notice me at first.

"Come on Jolyon, come back to bed you bad boy" She said, a seductive accent in her voice. She noticed me. Thats when I realised who she was. Carmen Jorda.

I gave Jolyon a disgusted look and walked off.

"Sophie! Wait!"

I ignored him and carried on walking until I reached my car. He looked at me with a sad expression as tears rolled down my face. He let me drive off as they turned into a waterfall.