Nobody's Business

New Beginning(s)

Alicia 

So cry if you need to, but I can't stay to watch you
That's the wrong thing to do
Touch if you need to, but I can't stay to hold you
That's the wrong thing to do
Talk if you need to, but I can't stay to hear you
That's the wrong thing to do
Cause you'll say you love me, and I'll end up lying
And say I love you too

But I need someone different
You know it, oh ho, you know it
Oh ho, you know it, we both know it
I need someone different
You know it, oh ho, you know it
Oh ho, you know it, we both know it
Something's been missing

Drake's voice filled my ears , and blasted throughout the house . 

My sister wasn't here , neither were my parents . 

I put the blunt to my lips , after tossing the lighter across my room and took a drag . 

Don't ask questions , questions need answers . Answers that I don't have , that's my new motto . 

To say India changed me for the better is an understatement , it opened my eyes . 

To reality , how am I 17 years young with this much damn problems . 

You , as in me , have a choice . You can either let something break you or make you stronger . 

As of right now , do you honestly think I'm wondering about what people see me as for what I said this morning to Jasmine ? Hell No . Believe that . 

Like , I don't care . That's the point  , I care too damn much . You don't see anyone worrying about me and my problems do you ? Everyone seems to just go about their own business . So why don't I just do the same . Yeah I could've just kept quiet and did the basic bitch thing , but I didn't . I was the smart ass who finally told people off. I don't like fake people , the same people who cheese and smile in your face that say ' Trust me ' are the same ones crossing their fingers behind their back when they say that. I wouldn't be suprised if Millen beat her ass too , she's asking for an ass whooping . Did Kemani , need to tell me that Jasmine was seeing Millen behind my back ? Nope . I don't really care , I feel nothing but regret when I think of Millen . What the hell was I thinking ? I have no clue . You hear all the things like , ' Watch for warning signals of an abusive boyfriend ' like on Dr.Phil and shit . I just never thought it'd happen to me . I feel bad for Kemani , I mean . Yeah , I guess now that I think of it .. I may or may not have overreacted in fourth grade with that whole Ross situation but I mean . . . That was my best friend . Do I forgive him ? Well , that's not the question of the hour now is it . The question is , does he forgive me ? I'm ready to start over and I'd like to have my real best friend by my side , if that's ok with him. 

The music in my room turned off , 

I turned around fast , pulling the blunt from my mouth and exhaling . 

"What the hell ? Who let you in here ?" I asked smiling  

"The door was open , don't you lock your doors ?" Juel said closing my door

It's been a week , since I got back to L.A.

"No because , I don't expect niggas like you to just be poppin' up ."  I said sitting on my bed Indian style 

"What the hell is that smell ?" He said sniffing the air 

I laughed , and held the blunt up .

"Since when do you smoke ?"  He asked laying on my bed 

I shrugged , "Can you take your shoes off before you get comfortable on my bed , I don't know if you stepped in dog shit."