I used to not
be afraid of anything
except for the shadows that
came alive when I first woke up.
I used to smile and laugh
because it felt good,
and life wasn't so bad.
I used to wake up really early in
the morning to see my mom
before she left for classes.
I used to stay up all night
watching Food Network with my dad.
I used to be the older sister
that I needed to be.
When I look at pictures from years ago,
I wonder: whatever happened to that girl?
I can't help but think about how
nice it'd be to see her again.
And sometimes I do-
but I haven't been her in a long,
long time, and the me now
doesn't know what to do.
Her happiness is a foreign concept,
the love and respect she had for her
parents has been blackened-
the burning feeling of emptiness has almost
eaten up everything she stood for.
But now...it's hard to tell where she is,
and where I am.
We're two people learning to become one again.
I feel guilty for not being someone she'd be proud of.
She gets sad because she's worried I'm ruining
myself.
And a year ago, I almost did.
But that terrible mistake helped us both.
I don't think there are two people anymore.
Even though I'm still lost, I can smile-
I glow, and sometimes it hurts because I feel like
I'm revealing too much.
I'm learning to take chances even though I know
I could get hurt.
My fears are being narrowed down-
I'm not that scared anymore.
And even though I don't know how things will end,
I'm confident that they'll be okay.
I will be okay.
And thanks to you,
I don't hate the world-
I don't hate myself.
I finally speak up for me, because I'm sick of being
pushed around like I don't matter.
I am human.
Only human, a person, a being...there's only
so much I can do- only so much I can give.
But I will change the world-
my name will echo in the wind; not because of
who I am, but because
of what I did.
I will have a voice, and people will listen.
And I'd like to thank you again- for being there
when no one else was.
For teaching me that things aren't always fair.
For being you. For being strong, and never
giving up- and even if you did, it's okay.
Because unlike others,
I've learned not to care.
I will always be a rock.
