I thought that maybe you could see...
I guess I was wrong.
To blinded by a feeling that hurts too much.
The anger I wish to rid,
is stronger and more vibrant now.
The hate that disappeared is back again.
I feel so broken inside.
All the pieces are falling apart.
I knew this would happen-
but that stupid thread of hope pushed it
away.
It's like a puzzle that's too complicated
for me to comprehend.
Screaming and screaming.
Falling and falling.
It's the same every time,
and it hurts.
I want it to just end,
to go away and leave me alone.
Thinking back,
I wish I hadn't gotten into this mess.
But it's too late to dig myself out.
I hate you. I hate her.
Most of all,
I hate me.
What was I thinking? I"m such an idiot.
You aren't the one who can fix me,
and if you can-
I can't wait forever.
Because it hurts.
I'm tired of being broken...
tired of feeling nothing but anger.
Here I am, doubting myself-
because it feels like it's over.
Invisible tears fall.
Thoughts cloud my mind.
But you are always there.
I try to shove you away,
and even then you come back.
Daydreaming-
stupid ideas...
In the end,
I'm left all alone.
To drown in my sorrows without a
shoulder to cry on.
I should be used to this,
but this time everything feels different.
The turning point of my
pathetic life.
Sometimes I find the pain amusing-
because what else is there to laugh at?
I can wish.
I can hope,
and I can dream....
Maybe one day it wall all pay off,
but for now,
I just need to focus on moving on.
If that's even possible...
I've tried, dont' get me wrong.
But the hurt always calls me back-
a form of Fate
and Hate.
