Struggle for love

chapter 48

August P.O.V

I was sitting by the lake staring at the water, I wasn't home crying like a Lil bitch because I wasn't one but my eyes were watering, my heart started feeling some type of way and I wasn't playin, I felt something wet gliding down my cheek knowing it was a tear, I've never been so ....so regected in my life....I've never been so Hurt mane, to know that someone that you be started having so much feelings for, to know that that you started deeply liking someone and they turn around and just let chu down so simply, I've done so much fo dat girl and I'm not asking fo a reward I just wanted her to have the same feeling I had, I wiped my eyes and that only made more tears flow

???:August

I wiped my face quick so dat nobody saw how hurt I was, then I felt a hand on my shoulder and when I looked it was Candice

Candice:are you okay

I looked at her and just instantly fell into lust, and licked my lips pulling her on my lap and kissing her, I feel fuckin vulnerable. I feel like dea ain't no love with Logan so I "need" that shit from somebody else

Candice: august

Me:shhh please

I said kissing her neck, she wrapped her arms around my neck and I held her closer

Candice:*Whispering* can we go in the house

She got up and we went in the house going straight in her room and I smashed, I ain't gotta worry bout Logan....not trying to be funny like for real she broke my heart , now its fuck everybody

********************

Couple days later

August P.O.V

I was in the kitchen mindin my bidness nd lo came in

Logan:hey

She said moving hair behind her ear. I looked at her and shook my head going back to making my food

Logan:how long are you gonna keep ignoring me

I looked in her eyes and felt my eyes burnin

Me: I ain't got shit ta say to you

I said looking right in her eyes at this point logan gets on my fuckin nerves

Logan:so now what you hate me?

Me: do I hate you???.....*scoffs* its deeper than hateterd logan , shit logan ain't even who I'm talking to...pure evil is what da fuck you is

I said leaving going upstairs where my eyes followed another girl walking down the stairs

Me:aye

She looked at me and her eyes were the colors of logans eyes

Me:Neva mind hoe

???:the fuck you just call me

I held my sand which and drink in my hand walking up the stairs, I don't wanna fuck no bitch dat got any thing that reminds me of her, skin color, fuckin eye color, lip shape, or sense of fuckin humor I don't even want the girl ta have  l in her name nun of it

Logan

Later that day, I walked down stairs for our meeting and stopped dead in my tracks because august had some girl on his lap and he was laughing and kissing her ear making her smile, I looked away and sat on the couch far away from them trying not to look

Shawny: don't worry he's trying to make you jealous

Me: I didn't mean for it to come out the way it did

I told her everything the other night, because I felt so bad. I miss him and I feel terrible, for the way it came out

Shawny:it'll be okay

I looked and the girl got up kissing augs cheek and I watched him grab her butt and  watch her walk away

Erin came downstairs and started talking about non sense, bull crap, I mean he could've been talking about something serious but I was to concerned and watching august, he was looking focused on what erin was saying, and his jaw kept clenching, after the meeting I got up with enough courage to try to talk to him again, this time I tried it when he was by his self on the balcony

Me:hey

He looked at me and scoffed shaking his head looking back out there

August: what is it dat chu possibly want

Me: to talk to you, august I didn't mean for it to come out this way

August: yes you did lo.......but chu right, I ain't knoe what love was....but den I started feeling somethin fa you

Me:i didn't know that was actually how you felt

August: what chu thought it was all a game

Me:..no I(GCO)

August: I don't wanna hea ya shit

Me:stop being so mean to me.........I trust you, with everything.....but my heart august *shake my head*  I can't give something I don't have anymore

He looked at me for a while and he licked his lips and looked away, and I touched his chest were his heart is

Me:you still have a heart......don't let Girls like me change that *tearing*  girls like me, our hearts is gone.

He started tearing but then pushed my hand off and went in the house , I couldn't cry, and I don't know why, my eyes were watering but I couldn't cry, I don't know what's wrong with me