What I've Done

Chapter 23 : For Akari

Haruka walked back to her room, letting out a sigh. She was tired, as usual. Hidan now can cuss freely, because Sasuke is gone. He called her with every insults possible and even with words that he invented. And Deidara uses them, too.

She quietly closed the door, and took off her cloak, folding it neatly.

She then entered the bathroom, and removed the bandages from her left arm, before she pulled out her razor blade, and slowly brought it to her wrist.

She slit her skin, letting out some thick red substance, and smiled in relief. A few tears escaped her eyes, as she replayed the process. First from her wrist, and keep going to her elbow. She was about to remove the bandages on her right arm, when a hand caught her.

"Haruka! Snap out of it!"

Haruka stayed frozen, unresponsive. She was too lost in her old memories, how her cousin used to do the same.

She can hear the man yelled, but she didn't reply. She felt someone took the razor away from her.

"Haruka! Answer me!"

She stayed frozen. Kisame grunted, as he pulled her out of the bathroom, and forced her to sit on his bed. He locked the room, and sat next to her, grabbing some roll of bandages.

"What the hell, Haruka?!" He scolded her, as he grabbed her bleeding arm, and a wet cloth. He used the cloth to remove all the pouring blood, before he took off his cloak and covered her arm with it, giving it some pressure, trying to stop the bleeding.

"Damnit, Haruka," he muttered, "What did I tell you about hurting yourself?!"

Haruka didn't even say anything. It's as if she didn't hear him. It scares him.

He removed the cloak and once again cleaned the skin, before he took the bandages and starts wrapping her arm. Blood seepes out, and he growled. "Come on... Is the cut really that deep?!" He asked, more to himself, as he hold her arm tightly, and starts running his chakra there, trying to heal her wounds.

"Haruka, answer me! Do anything! Yell, shout, scream, cry, just give me a respond!" He yelled in frustration.

"I'm sorry... Shisui..." She finally whispered, causing his eyes to widened.

"Haruka..."

And with that, Haruka leaned onto his shoulder, and starts crying. "I just want to die, Kisame! I can't do this anymore!"


Kisame's P.O.V.

I stayed silent at her words. She kept screaming, sobbing uncontrollably, clutching my shoulder tightly.

I couldn't blame here. 2 years she kept her emotionless façade. 2 years she was forced to act like a cruel, evil big sister, while in truth she wants to hug her little brother tightly, saying sorry for all she has done.

I know.

Hidan and Deidara were too hard on her. They told her how they know that she must have been smiling and laughing in happiness while killing her clan. How she was a heartless monster, how her brothers must have hate her and how her parents must have disappointed of her.

How she's a disgrace to the Uchiha clan.

I turned and pulled her into a hug, as she continued her mental breakdown. I can smell the blood seeping out, but that's not the main problem for now.

"Haruka... You must learn how to forgive yourself..." I said, as I rubbed her back, trying to soothe her down, but what she said next made me froze in shock.

"Kisame... You shouldn't love me... I already planned my death..."

"... What are you talking about?"

She pulled away, and wiped her tears, as she starts wrapping her cuts in bandages.

"I let my teammates die, in a fight I left them, and they were killed, while I survived. I slaughtered a whole clan, my own clan. I watched as my own cousin, my best friend, my lover, killed himself in front of me, and I did nothing. I forced my brothers to watch the massacre, and I hurt them. Even Sasuke, who's just 5 years old, I hurt him, physically, mentally, and verbally."

She paused, before saying, "Death is a too kind punishment for me. My sickness is nothing compared to the pain I have caused many people. Maybe it would be paid off, all my sins, if I was killed by no other than my brothers."

I sighed. "Haruka... You can't force anyone to change their feelings. You can't force me to stop loving you. You can't force Sasuke to shake off his curiosity."

"And I know I can't force you to stop thinking about this... Suicidal plan."

"However," I trailed off, "I can still change it."

She raised an eyebrow, as she cut the remaining bandages, and put it aside.

"What if I tell you, that I will kill myself if you die?"

Shock was obvious in her eyes.

"Kisame..."

"Haruka, you will only hurt Sasuke. He believes that his old big sister in still there. He believes that you have a reason for all your actions. Do you want to kill the hopes from an innocent 7 years old boy?"

She let out a sigh.

"Don't make it harder for me, Kisame." She mumbled, as she stood up, and lay on her own bed, her back facing him.

"It's not that I don't love you back..." She added, and I unconsciously hold my breath.

"I just don't want to hurt you."

***

Kakashi's P.O.V.

"... You're so lucky..." I told my partner.

Itachi smiled softly. "Yeah, I know." He replied, as he turned his attention back to Sasuke, who is currently playing with Naruto, Minato-sensei's son.

"I wish Akari was here."

I felt Itachi's hand on my shoulder.

"Kakashi... You just have to live on. Do what she would want you to do. I lost my mom, but I'm sure she would want me to take care of Sasuke. And I'm sure my father wants me to kill Haruka. I live by those rules."

I stayed silent.

He let out a sigh. "See you later." He said, before he stood up, and left.

What Akari wants, huh? Maybe I can find some clue in her journal.

I entered my apartment, and went straight to my room. I took Akari's journal, and decided to open it.

And I met her familiar, neat, beautiful handwriting.

'Hey, Readers! So... My name is Akari Hatake. Daughter of the White Fang. Little sister of Kakahsi Hatake, the Copy Cat Ninja. Ah, what a great family I was born in.

I got my team today! The only team with 2 girls and 1 boy! We got a playboy~ XD Just kidding. His name is Ryuu Haruno. And her name is Haruka Uchiha. The Haruka Uchiha. The Uchiha Princess!

She's not that bad, you know? She's sweet, kind, and most importantly, smart. Oh, how I envied her.

And this... diary... I got this from Nii-san. I don't know what to write, so I'll use it as my team's journal. Now, onwards to Ryuu's entry!"

I turned to the next page. The handwriting is large and messy.

"Ryuu! Dragon, that's my name! Dad gave me a katana as a present for being a genin! Well, my team were all just 7 years old. Cool, eh? Well, I think Akari is pretty... Haruka, too... But Akari's prettier... No, wait, it's Haruka... But Akari... And Haruka... Ah, damnit, they both are beautiful!

Okay, change of topic. Akai's great. Her aim, her healing ability... And Haruka... I don't know what to say. She hardly ever talk, but it seems like she's the kind of people who only do things with reason. And she's too selfless, too. I saw her giving her little brother Itachi a piggy back ride, and then they fall, and I swear I heard her wrist cracked. But she didn't tell anyone!

Well, on that part, she's an idiot."

I raised an eyebrow. Why does Akari and Ryuu talks more about Haruka?

I turned the page. It's the shortest entry, with small, neat handwriting.

"I don't even know what to say. I wrote this on Akari's orders. My name is Haruka Uchiha.

Akari and Ryuu are just too worried about me. I mean, just because I got abnormal chakra, and can't heal myself, that doesn't mean I would die.

Enough. Thank you for letting me write here."

I narrowed my eyes. From her entry, she was a kind of 'give-me-orders-and-I'll-do-it' Uchiha, the ones that I would gladly punch on the face.

I must read this whole journal. Maybe, I can find the reason of the massacre.

I do hate Haruka. But I must try to clean her name.

I'm sure that's what Akari wants.

*************************

Your opinion? I don't have anything else to say. I'm not in the mood of writing, I got my 1500+ words accidentally deleted.

However, of course I will still update. Please comment. I feel so lonely. Hardly any otaku in my class!

For any readers of MoAB, I apologize, but the update will be delayed.

See you later!