Accident

Chapter Fourteen

Killian was trudging slowly to the castle when last there, it had filled him with only great sorrow. He was taking in his surroundings knowing that it would be the last time he'd ever see them. The crinkle of dried brown leaves crinkled under his weight, he took his pace slow because he knew this was the last walk. That this was similar to the feeling of time standing still; he knew that it would make no difference if he ran or strolled. With this feeling of acceptance of his fate the world held an almost eery glow to it. The leaveless trees were damp and a pale ashen color, but so densely packed that it still was obviously forest along with the shrubbery at the trees roots.

The moonlight shown over head illuminated his pathway, the leaves with fresh dew on them as if it had rained recently gleamed under it's glow. He could hear the scattering of the night creatures as he neared where they rested. The patter of water dripping added to the cacophony of noises that surrounded him. But despite his best efforts his mind ventured into a memory of him and Emma. That caused his heart to twist painfully in his chest.

It was before dawn, not a single strand of sunlight peaked through the port window of their shared chambers to illuminate the room. But for some reason they'd both mysteriously awoken, Killian first. He hadn't moved from the bed, rather he spent his restlessness contently watching as Emma slept peacefully, as she muttered nonsense in her sleep. Her blonde eyelashes rested like pale crescents across her naturally rose cheeks. Eventually under his constant stare, her eyelids began to flutter and eventually open to greet him. Beautiful green, something that when you gazed upon them the only thing they were comparable to is that of a priceless gem. Slowly a smile went across her face as they stared at each other still no words exchanged.

Her hand, thin and pale went up to push back a strand of his dark black hair. Her gaze warmed him, told him that she felt as he did about her; that he was in love and as was she. "I could spend the rest of my life like this." She said softly, her green eyes focused on his caspian blue ones.

This comment had come by surprise and had nearly caused him to physically retract from her touch, but it was not unwelcome because in this moment he shared them. This time as she put her hand back down and laid it upon the bed, he pulled her by his chest. "Imagine love, if we were to ever be wed. I can picture you, the most beautiful bride to ever be walking down the isle. Your dress white making your skin nearly glow, your hair loose by your sides flowing effortlessly behind you."

Though he could not see her, he could feel her smiling at the thought. "I've never thought about my wedding day." She admitted softly. "But now when I try and picture it... All I can picture is you standing at the end of a long isle under floral decorated archway, your dark ebony hair combed neatly. Your blue eyes daring me to edge closer, teasing me, but as always absolutely beautiful and full of love. Your dressed like a man would be in my world in a neatly crisp tux, with a black bow tie."

Now Killian pressed his lips to her neck and he smiled against it as he tried to picture what she saw, and wondered if they were imagining the same thing. But he didn't care, because some part of him knew that somehow one day, he would make this happen. "I think we will both enjoy ourselves that night."

Emma laughed softly, as she laid her head on his chest. "Have you ever wanted kids?"

"I'd love to have a child, Swan." She looked up at him at the quick response her eyes full of unconcealed joy and adulation.

Slowly he leaned in for a kiss, their lips locking together in a soft, passionate, harmonious, embrace. He felt the coolness of tears touch his cheeks, and realized the she was crying. His arms came around her to comfort her, to remind her that she was not alone. "I hope someday we can make this conversation a reality." Emma said parting some from him, the water trackways of tears clear on her beautiful features.

Wiping away her tears and pressing his forehead to hers, "Swan, I swear to you that one day even if it requires my passing, it will."

Emma was left dumbfounded and absolutely and completely speechless. Her eyes once more full of tears searched his, looking for some seed of doubt within them but there was none there.

Walking now thinking on this, Killian's courage was still strong; but the weight of what was transpiring was crashing in around him. He was making himself a lier, and these things that they both wished for would never come to pass. They couldn't. It was his soul or hers. That was the simplicity of this tragic game board they both were players in. No matter what he did now, he could never and would never make good on that promise.

A promise that he wanted more than ever, he wanted to make good on. Looking up now, he could see the golden lights that illuminated exterior of stone castle. An empty field surrounded it, full of tall green yellow grass, blowing slightly in the breeze. This was it.

Taking another step he released a deep breath, as his heart rate picked up so that it rang and filled his ears. Killian was making the ultimate sacrifice for the woman his heart belonged too, Emma Swan.