Angel- A Demi Lovato Fanfiction

3

Demi

Three years. Today when I woke up I didn't think of Izzy's death, but my two beautiful children that turn three today. It lasted for about a minute or two, then the usual intense sadness took over. I felt tears fill my eyes and I turned over to see if Wilmer was awake. He wasn't, so I pushed my face into his neck, letting out a small sob. I felt him wake up with a start, then his arm wrapped around my waist, holding my head with his other hand.

"Shhh Hermosa, it's okay."

I looked up at him and shook my head, "No it's not. It's not okay. I wish you would stop saying that because it's never gonna be okay!"

He just stroked my cheek, "I don't mean the situation is gonna be okay, I mean we're gonna be okay. We'll get through this eventually and somehow be okay."

I sniffled, "I don't think so. Every day I still think of her. Every day I wonder what she would've done that day to make me smile, or more likely to piss me off."

Wilmer chuckled, "I think about that too, especially the pissing you off. But she's watching down on us, she's up in the sky smiling with us and watching over her brother and sister."

I cracked a smile with him, "If she were here she'd probably be showing Mia how to ruin my lipstick tubes, or teaching both of them their first curse words."

He laughed then, and it was genuine, nothing like the fake 'ha ha's' we had been forced to squeak out over the years, "Without a doubt."

I fell silent, "It feels weird to laugh, I feel sort of guilty. I don't want to get over her or forget about her."

His arms wrapped around me, "Getting through it isn't forgetting her Demi, it's keeping her in our memory while not letting the weight of her passing crush us. It's like finally seeing the light after running blindly through the darkness."

I closed my eyes and snuggled against his eyes chest, "We owe it to our babies, all three of them, to get through this. I can't live like this and raise two kids. I'm scared that it's already affected them. I mean, for christ's sake, it's their birthday!"

Wilmer sighed, "We do owe it to the twins to be good parents. Demi, they're three. They're not gonna freak out if you're a little down on one day of the year."

"I know... I just..." I sighed, "I don't know I just want to mess things up. I want the best for them and if I'm completely depressed on their birthday that's not the best."

He gently drew patterns on my back, "Hermosa, no parent is perfect. We can't get it right all the time okay? We can't get it right all the time and everyone around us understands that. We're human beings. We make mistakes, and many times big ones. But that doesn't mean we don't love our kids, and each other. They know that. The twins will learn that."

I smiled and leaned up, kissing him deeply. Wilmer's arms locked around my waist and pulled me close, his lips moving against mine with passion. His hands began to roam my body and I instantly tensed up, pulling away.

"Don't do that." He said immediately, pulling me back. "Don't run away from me, from this."

I shook my head, my hands pressing against his chest, "Wilmer... I don't... I can't even think about that right now."

"Then when?" He challenged, "When? Do you realize we haven't had sex in basically four years? I know we've been through a lot, and I'm not blaming you baby... but I love you. I just want to be able to take our minds off of the obstacles of the day ahead and be completely wrapped up in each other. I want us to be normal again."