Angel- A Demi Lovato Fanfiction

7

Demi

"NO IZZY! PLEASE!"

I sat up in bed with a scream, my hand flying to my throat as I was wrenched out of the nightmare I'd been plagued with for the past two years. It was always the same, and I could never save her.

"Are you okay?" Wilmer's raspy voice pulled me into reality and I looked down at his makeshift bed on the floor.

"I'm fine. Go back to bed."

"Not likely."

I closed my eyes, remembering how he had said the same thing last year, so much had changed since then. We didn't speak unless it was absolutely necessary. I was still haunted by the image of Wilmer screaming that it was my fault Izzy killed herself. I knew it was true, since I had said that to myself every day for seven years, but it was different hearing it come from someone else's mouth. Hearing it from my mom, or my sisters, I could've handled. Hell, hearing it directly from Izzy I could handle. But from Wilmer? The one person I shared everything with, the one I leaned on and expressed my deepest thoughts of it being my fault. For Wilmer to say that, was agony.

I shook my head and rubbed my face, trying to get the image of Izzy dying out of my head. The bed shifted, and I flinched as Wilmer touched my knee.

"Don't." My voice was hard and cold.

"Just let me hold you. Please? Just for two minutes. Just let me hold you tonight."

I sneered at him, "Why? It's my fault this day is what it is."

Wilmer closed his eyes, "Please Demi, I didn't mean it-"

"I don't want to hear it. If you didn't mean it, you wouldn't of said it. You wouldn't of said it if you hadn't thought of it at some point. So no, you can't hold me, especially not tonight."

~*~

"Happy Birthday dear Mia and Alex, Happy Birthday to you!"

I sang softly along with the crowd of family as Mia and Alex smiled hugely in front of their towering cake. Alex was politely blowing out the candles, but Mia reached out and used her finger to smear her name. I rolled my eyes lovingly and ruffled her hair.

"Let's get a family picture!" My mom called out, and I couldn't risk shooting her a glare. She was the only one who knew what Wilmer had screamed at me.

I crouched next to Alex, while Wilmer took the other side next to Mia. I felt him put his hand on the small of my back, and a crack went through my heart; I missed him.

We took a ton of pictures throughout the night, Mia loving the attention, while Alex preferred to stay by my side, or on my lap with his head on my shoulder.

"I love you mommy." He said sweetly.

"I love you too baby." I cooed, kissing his forehead and pulling him into a hug, "Happy Birthday."

"Mommy?" He whispered, while we were still hugging.

"What is it?"

"Do you still love Papi?"

I sighed, "Yes, I do love Papi still. I'll always love him, just like I'll always love you, and your sister."

Alex smiled and ran off to play with the other kids. I stood up and walked into the kitchen, beginning to clean up the dishes until I looked out the window and saw Wilmer walking into the woods. I knew where he was going, somewhere I hadn't been in a year and a half. It was instinctual to follow him. Silently, I hid behind a tree when he reached the clearing.

"Hey Izzy... It's Mia and Alex's birthday today. Remember how yesterday they were fighting they crazy? They're fine now. I wish you could meet them so bad sweetie. You'd absolutely adore them. Your mom is doing okay... better than last year I suppose. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to hold her and try and apologize, but how do you apologize for that? How do you make that okay again?"

I could feel more cracks in my stone heart forming and it took all I had not to run away again, but to keep listening.

"I wish you were here, I wish you would've waited it out, or come to us before you did it. I wish you were still here, but I know you're not. I know you're gone and in a better place, and I need your mom back. Please, let her come back to me. I need her more than she's ever needed me. I'm falling apart and I don't know how much longer I can do this. Even if it's just one night... please, let her come back to me."

~*~

When we finally went up to bed that night, Wilmer laid down on the floor while I sat up in bed. his words kept echoing through my head and I eventually couldn't take it anymore.

"If you want, you can come up here."

Wilmer's jaw dropped so fast it was almost comical, "Really?"

I nodded and moved over so he could get in on his side. He quickly slid under the covers and laid on his back, not daring to move in case I kicked him out.

"I miss you." He breathed, after a few minutes of silence.

I closed my eyes and rolled over so I could lay on his chest. Wilmer's arms wrapped around me automatically, and for a few seconds, it felt normal.

"I miss you too."

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-Rachel