|A/N: I'm just gonna keep it real with Gee. Black Parade!AU. I totally wrote this to P!ATD, which is where the title came from. But nah, there is some major pill taking and fighting so be aware.|
"Gerard, c'mon. Get up." Gerard rolled back over as Mikey and Frank were hitting him with pillows. "Fuck off, Mikey. What the hell do you want anyways?" Gerard flipped his middle finger before rolling over to face his brother and boyfriend.
"We want you to get up. We fucking have sound check in 15, you asshole." Gerard groaned as Frank pulled him up. "Baby, c'mon, you gotta get up. I know you didn't get much sleep, but we can't do this without you. Literally." Gerard nodded and got out of bed. "Yeah, I know, sorry Mikes." Mikey nodded at Gerard and left.
"Gee, c'mere. I gotta cover those dark circles under your eyes before they all get suspicious." Frank pulled him over to sit down on a stool, he also grabbed the concealer and a little sponge. Gerard closed his eyes for maybe 2 seconds and then Frank was done.
"Hey Gerard, if there's something keeping you awake, talk to me about it. I want to help you, that's what I'm here for. Alright?" Gerard shook his head and Frank planted a kiss on his forehead. "I love you, pretty." "I love you too, Frankie."
Gerard couldn't wait five fucking minutes, he had to take those pills or else he'd fall asleep during the show. As we speak right now, Gee is in the dressing room trying to find the small bottle of caffeine pills he hid. After searching for 3 minutes, he finally fucking found them.
He dumped 3 in his hand and downed them with a bottle of water. Little did he know, his boyfriend was watching him from the cracked door. "Gerard, what the fuck did you just put in your mouth?" Uh oh...
"Aspirin. I have a major headache, wanted to take some before the show, that's it." Frank looked disappointed, he knew Gerard was lying. "We don't have time to talk now, but you bet your ass we will later. Don't think I won't either." Gerard nodded and panicked, he had to get rid of the bottle and fast.
Gerard couldn't fucking handle it. His stomach kept feeling queasy and every time he moved he was feeling really dizzy. He almost lost his balance too. Frank kept dancing around Gerard and keeping an eye on him. While he was singing with him, Frank noticed Gerard was getting shaky and his legs were shaking too.
Frank was just glad it was the last song, he had to find out what was wrong with his boyfriend. He was getting too worried. As they all said goodnight to the crowd, Frank caught up to Gerard and dragged him back on the bus for a confrontation.
"Gerard, what the hell did you take before the show. I swear to god, don't fucking lie to me either." Gerard was trying to play it cool and not lie. "Fucking hell, Frank. It was just some goddamn aspirin. You of all people should know, you fucking watch me get prescribed with this shit."
Franks' face softened, and he nodded. "You're right, I'm so sorry. I just don't want you to get hurt, alright? I want you to take care of yourself. I love you and it would fucking kill me to see something happen to you."
" I know Frankie, I love you too. But I'm trying the best that I can. Y'know it's not so easy being depressed and sleep deprived." Frank gathered the white haired man in his arms and kissed him a couple times too. "I know baby. It'll get better, I promise." He whispered in Gee's ear, and gave a little kiss under it.
It's been 6 days. All 6 days he's taken the pills. All 6 days he feels like shit. "Gerard, what is this?" Mikey held up a small empty pill bottle. Shit. "An empty aspirin bottle." Mikey raised an eyebrow at Gee and said, "Try again."
"Mikey, drop it. I don't need you lecturing me too." He shook his head and went towards the back to get clothes on. "Gerard, these are fucking caffeine pills! Do you know how dangerous these are? Does Frank know about this?"
Gerard shook his head 'no' and carried on getting dressed. "Frank!" Mikey called from the back room and Gee's eyes went wide. "Hm? Is everything okay? What's up, Mikes?"
Mikey handed him the pill bottle so Frank could read the label. "Gerard, you fucking lied to me." He whispered under his breath and Gee already had tears gathered in his eyes.
"Frankie, I'm so sorry." Gerard wiped at his face, embarrassed and ashamed to have lied to Frank but he had no choice. Frank threw the bottle down and went straight to Gerard. "Why didn't you just tell me?" Gerard's face was cradled in Frank's tattooed hands, tears streaming like the ocean.
"Because I didn't want you to worry about me!" Gerard yelled, and sobbed. "You would've worried, and you would've told Mikey, and you probably would have taken me to see a doctor! Frank, you worry about me so much when you don't have to."
"Gerard, of course I fucking have too! If not, you'll go and do stupid shit like this! Do you not want me to take care of you and keep you from fucking dying? Because it sure as hell seems like you wouldn't give a fuck either way!" Frank stomped out of the back to the little kitchen.
"Frank is everything okay? Is Gee okay?" Frank shook his head, Ray leaving it alone not bothering to ask and push Frank even farther into his anger fit. By this time, Gerard had settled himself in his bunk, still crying.
Mikey walked up and opened his curtain. "Gerard, you know we were gonna find out sooner or later right?" He nodded and turned, his back facing Mikey's front. Mikey pursed his lips together, closed his curtain, and walked away.
Gerard tossed and turned that night, not able to get any sleep at all. Still thinking about the previous events, Gerard hopped out and went to his suitcase. He opened up the little pocket outside and pulled out his blades and the pills.
He walked to the bathroom and flushed them all down the toilet. What he didn't know was that Frank was watching the whole time. Frank was up already, and he heard the sound of his boyfriend so he came to look at what he was doing.
Gerard had to muffle his voice with his hand, sobbing as he watched it all go down. He hadn't wanted to kill himself. Well he did, but after what Frank said, he decided living was more important. Frank's words were just echoing in his mind still.
Do you not want me to take care of you and keep you from fucking dying? Because it sure as hell seems like you wouldn't give a fuck either way!
Gerard didn't know that Frank was walking up right behind him. So, when he felt hands on his waist, he was jolted. "Baby, I am so proud of you." That was all Gerard needed to hear to know that Frank still loved him.
Gerard turned around in his arms, still muffling his sobs, and said, "Frankie, I'm so scared." Gerard hid his face in Frank's neck, soaking his shirt collar with tears while Frank's rubbing his back trying fucking trying to soothe him.
"I know Gerard, I am too. But I know you and I know that you can do this. You are strong enough to make it Gerard. I fucking believe in you, and I love you. You have to know I love you so goddamn much." Frank closed his eyes and let a few tears slips himself.
Gerard nodded as best as he could, trying to tell Frank he understood without the words he couldn't get out of his mouth. Frank just held Gee closer and never let him go.
They ended up asleep on the couch together. Finally, after Frank talking to Gerard as best as he could, and getting through more tears, they drifted off together in a peaceful, permanent slumber for the night.
