Gary left and I just stood there and cried. I couldn't believe what was happening and I don't know what to do. I just know that I want to leave all of this behind. My mind and my life is screwed and bringing someone else into the picture is not making it any more helpful. I really like Gary but right now is not the time for me to be serious with him. I don't want to be a bump on a log to him and I care too much about him to bring him into this.
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Two days later
I woke up today early well scratch that I didn't go to sleep at all last night. I had too much going on and all I could think about was Gary. I can't delete the image of him out my mind and I don't think I should. What he said to me the other night was everything I needed to hear. I just didn't know how to respond. I can almost taste his lips and feel his warm embrace his eyes are still glued to mines and I just I don't know.
Today was supposed to be the day I went to court to get finalized for legal separation so I got up and got dressed and was headed to the courtroom now. Like always Daniel has his little pep talk before walking in threatening me not to say anything about abuse nor about murder and I agreed, because if I do then I'll be in trouble for not reporting it right away. Anyway we were finally inside the courtroom and my lawyer and I were prepared. Then after Daniel walked in the judge wasn't too far behind. He was a short fat Caucasian man with a lot of facial hair. He looked serious.
All Rise
Of course we had to do the mandatory routine they always do in court. I'm just ready to get it over with.
"Okay you all may be seated um what seems to bring you two here today?"the judge asked.
"A broken marriage your honor,"I said.
"What seems to be broken about it Ma'am?"he asked.
"Everything I'm just tired and I'm ready to leave him sir,"I said.
"Well your honor may I speak?"Daniel asked.
"Yes please do,"he said.
"I believe that the problem is that my lovely wife here doesn't want to do her wifely duties we're both working parents in fact we work together and for some reason she feels that because we work and see each other all day it prohibits her from being my wife and not just my client sir my wife is lazy in everything at home, at work, in the bedroom now come on your honor I'm a man sex is everything,"he said.
"Yes sex is a big portion of it all,"he said.
"But your honor my husband here also have to respect that when a woman says NO she doesn't want to do this or that she doesn't want to have sex then the man should respect that am I right?"I asked.
"What kind of person doesn't want sex?"Someone in the audience barked.
"A Toni Braxton actually,"I snapped.
"I believe that there's someone else your honor maybe she's having sex with someone other than myself,"said Daniel.
"Your honor when I tell you that I have not slept with anyone other than my husband he's the one that needs to be checked for cheating,"I snapped again.
"Typical women always think a man is cheating when women are the real sneaks out here,"Daniel said.
"True,"someone else barked.
"Excuse me your honor next time can we have a closed case without the extra amens in the audience I believe that it's very distracting,"I said.
"Why are you worrying about them this is your case and by the looks of it and what I hear you aren't very serious about why you're here,"the judge said.
