I open my eyes; I am at my own funeral. I remember everything. The only problem is I remember every single thing. I walk to my coffin & I see myself lying peacefully. I face the crowd & I can't believe what I'm actually seeing. My classmates, my fellow students & my teachers, they're all here. In the front row, I see my mom & dad & Faye sitting next to each other. I come close to them. My mom, she's crying & it hurts to see her this way. I try to touch her face but my hands; they just pass right through my mom. I can't hold her. I try to hold my dad's hands but the same thing happen. Why? Why can't I touch them? Then the guy from the white room appears again. "You can't touch them, Bianca. They can't even see you nor hear you." No! No! I keep on trying but everything I try fails. "Bianca," I look at him and tears stream down my face more. "Get away from me. I don't need you. Please!" I push him away from me & he disappears. Faye stands & walks her way to the stage. I follow her. She's at my coffin, staring at me, the dead me. This is really weird saying "dead me". I never imagine I would be in this position. God, why? "I hate you, B. Why did you leave me?" Faye begun to tear up. I hold her hand not thinking that I can't. "I'm right here, Faye. Look at me. Please, hear me out, Faye. I'm here!" Faye hugs the dead me. "We're going to Vegas. Do you remember that? You promised me, after graduation we're going to Vegas! B! Wake up. Don't leave me. Not yet! Bianca, please." Mom comes to calm my best friend. I watch them walk away from me. I watch my world fall apart & there's nothing I can do but to stare at it blankly. "Bianca?" Someone calls out my name, it's not the guy from the white room but who is it? I look behind me & it's Luigi Guadagnino. One of the evil-jock-porcupine football player in our school. Wait. Is he dead too? He can see me. He's dead. "You can see me?" I ask him with a great tone in my voice. Am I happy? No. I'm at my own funeral. But someone can see me. "I can see you & I can hear you." I poke him to see if I can...Yes! I can even touch him. "I didn't know you were dead too. What happened to you?" I ask him. "Dead? I'm not dead, Bianca. Wait, are you,"
"You're not dead but you can see, hear & touch me. Yes I am dead, if you’re asking."
"I-I came here to... uhm... Bianca, I'm sorry I was drunk that night, I didn't know something bad was gonna happen."
"You, what?" My blood they boil, my hands they tremble, my lips they shake, my heart... still not beats. I am mad. This evil asshole is admitting something. Something I am dying to hear.
"It was my car who crashed against Trevor's car. It was Prom Night, everyone seems to be wasted & I am one of those wasted kids. Bia..."
"You killed me. Yes! You're one of the wasted assholes that night & you're the one who killed me!" I push him so hard he fell, people stare at him like he's some kind of freak & I feel bad but he took away my life & pushing him is not enough. "Bianca, I'm sorry." I walk close to him, closer that I can almost hear his heart beating. "I'll make it up to you, I promise! I... I'll quit football if that makes us even."
"Do you think quitting football makes us even? Get up, you asshole! Taking away my life is so much more than your fuckin reputation! Do you understand that? My life is so much more than football; my life is so much more than yours!"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Bianca. Please forgive me. I-I... I tried to apologize to Trev but," Trev! My man, I look around but he's not anywhere. "Where is Trev? Why is he not here?"
"Trevor's under ICU since the day the accident happened. He's under comma; it's his 4th day today."
"You owe me your life, Luigi. And you have to make it up for it."
"Anything. Just forgive me. Please."
"You'll be earning it. Take me to Trev." I glance at my mom, my dad & at my best friend. I wipe the tears from my face. "I'm never gone, guys. I always be here." I walk away from my own funeral; I walk away from my family, from my best friend. But I'm never leaving them, ever.
