- Calum Hood -
Should I lie to her and say yes or tell her I don't have plans. It's not like I didn't enjoy Tasha, it was just really hard to transition.
I wasn't comfortable with her because she wasn't the girl I was aching for.
"Well?" I forgot Tasha was still on the line.
"I want you to meet someone. Meet me at the lobby in 15." I instructed. Tasha gave me an okay and I got ready.
15 minutes later
Tasha was following me to our destination. I didn't want to do this, but I didn't want to always feel this way. Plus, I wanted to apologize.
"Are we where we're supposed to be?" Tasha asked quietly.
I followed the stone paths until we got to an old highway. I looked over and the hotel I stayed in a year ago was still there.
"This," I pointed to the ground. "Is where the love of my life lays."
"Calum, I-" I stopped Tasha.
"Sorry? Why? You never did anything wrong." I wiped away a few tears. "I lost her a year ago."
I wasn't going to tell her what really happened and why I couldn't let her go. I couldn't explain the pain after she left.
"Who was she?" Tasha sat on the ground with me, touching the her tomb stone.
I was lost for words. No one has ever asked me to explain who she was. Who was she?
She wasn't just another girl that I loved, she wasn't the girl of my dreams. I never labeled her as anything, but Jay.
"Jay." The word slipped out of my mouth and I always wondered if I felt pain after saying her name, but nothing was painful.
It was like it wanted to naturally fall out of my mouth. Or was it because another girl was here? But Tasha and I are friends in the making.
"Like mocking jay? Was she annoying?" Tasha asked in a humorous way.
I never found it humorous though. Jay was never annoying. She never was anything, but Jay. She lived life simple, nothing more to say.
"Sorry." Tasha mumbled.
It was silent for a while, but I didn't mind. I wanted to think. I traced over her name that was engraved into her stone.
JamieLynn Rose
July 6, 1996 - June 9, 2014
In our hearts she remains
In my heart she lives.
--
After 15 minutes of awkward silence, Tasha left me; I stayed.
"Cal, how long have you been?" A voice brings my attention to the stone path. Ashley.
"An hour or so." I yawned.
"All righty then, I'll keep you company." Ashley set her flowers down, sitting on the highway with me.
"I miss her." I look up at Ashley, it wasn't Ashley I saw. It was her again.
"I know you do, but I really want you to get used to the name "Calum" and not "Cal". I don't think it's fair for only me to call you Calum and not anyone else." Ashley blurted.
Ashley knew why I hated being called Calum.
FLASHBACK
"Calum, you hit me."
"Ja-"
"Save it. We're done. Bye, Calum."
FLASHBACK OVER
Calum was the last thing she said to me. The first word she said to me was I'm. Put those two together and you get, I'm Calum.
I'm Calum and I was the cause of Jay's death.
Ashley was only allowed to call me Calum because it was something her sister did and she wanted to continue to call me that to lessen the pain. But to tell you the truth, it didn't lessen. Not one bit.
"It hurts, Ash. I want you to understand that." I looked up at her bright and vivid blue eyes and saw nothing but the ocean drifting me away.
"Me and Michael will be leaving soon, so I got to go. Have a nice day, Cal." Ashley hugged me goodbye and left.
"I love you, Calum Thomas Hood."
Another voice, another agonizing part of life gets stuck to me.
//
suck dick chapter
short asff
but i hope this didn't hit y'all
tooooooooooooooo hard
love u
