calum hood;
she was talking to jay. she brought her her favorite flowers.
"tasha?" she turned around and got up.
"cal, i wanted to talk to her." she said quietly, walking away.
"baby wait." i stopped her.
"cal, i really have to go. we'll talk later." she left. i walked up to jay.
why does tasha visit jay? they didnt know each other, right? oh my gosh.
"so, she does linger your mind." a voice startled me.
"tasha?" i turned around, claire?
"no, its claire. natasha's sister. youngest."
"what do you know?" i asked her.
"i went to school with jamielynn. she went missing one day and then i came home to find her dead. i dont usually visit her because i know tasha's self-conscious." claire confessed.
self-conscious?
"jay loved you. loved you more than anyone. heck, she wrote a journal full of things about you two. she kept pictures. but all because you couldn't handle distance. did she mean a lot to you? does tasha mean a lot to you?" claire's voice cracked a little.
"jay cheated. she meant a lot. of course, tasha means a lot to me." i answered all her questions.
"so, thats why you visited jay and not tasha. because tasha means a lot to you." claire rolled her eyes.
"fuck off." i walked back home and felt her following me.
"you're an asshole for toying my sister!" claire yelled, going the other direction.
delusional little girl.
"woah, cal." i heard ashley as i bumped into her.
i bump into so many fucking people.
"i went to visit jay, but tasha and her sister were there." i mumbled.
"claire?" she questioned and i nodded.
"tasha is self-conscious. did you know that?" ashley didnt speak.
"you knew, but you didnt tell me!" i shouted.
"she asked me not to!" she yelled back.
"shes my girlfriend! if something is wrong, you have to tell me!"
"its not my business! plus, you said to leave you and tasha alone, so i did!" ashley screamed, running ahead of me, so she could go back home.
this is shit.
--
trust
calum is leaving for australia soon and he doesnt want to continue our relationship bc of the distance so i decided since hes leaving, i dont wanna get hurt. i cheated. i cheated on him. it was stupid but its not like calum minded. he was going to leave anyway. im having issues with him anyway. trust issues. man, im fucked up. but he's fucked up for not wanting to make this work. right?
i set aside the journal and went outside to join bryana.
"do you and ashton ever fight?" i asked her.
"oh, you're having girl problems, huh?" she chuckled.
big time, but its not so much a problem. its more of something i dont understand.
"mhm." i mumbled. what was girl problems?
"cal, shes obviously not comfortable with you and jay. maybe, you need to stop basing everything you do with tasha on things you did with jay."
"i do not!" i defended myself.
"your first date with jay was at a log cabin in the woods where you two watched reruns of old tv shows. you and tasha your first dat at a log cabin at a campsite where you two watched netflix. i think there is some similarities there." she pointed out.
come to think of it, whenever i read something in jay's journal, it happens or happened to me and tasha. what the fuck. what happens after this? oh right, tasha dies. holy fucking shit.
//
oh sheeeet !!!
BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY MIKEY ((:
the book with end on December 25 oh and theres 8 more chapters ((:
u do the math
