Please Stay

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Negative.

What do you bloody mean negative!? I paid £7.45 for this early-detection test and your telling me that I'm not pregnant. Of course I'm pregnant! I am? I'm so sure.

I wanted to throw the test to the floor and stamp on it repeatedly. It was telling me that my sore boobs, the fatigue, my aching back and the very light withdrawal bleed was nothing to do with this pregnancy. I looked at the test a little while longer, would it change to positive on it's own? It wouldn't. It might? It said something about discard after ten minutes, regardless. I felt like crying; I was so sure I was pregnant.

I put the test and all the other bits and bats into the box and stormed downstairs and chucked it in the bin, and then got a magazine and put that in the bin over it. I felt like a teenager hiding the test from her parents and I felt silly about it. I guess I just didn't want to explain myself to Will.

Is it too early? I grabbed my laptop. I almost punched my dongle through the thing. I tapped on the keyboard furiously and displaced the 'S'. I fiddled with irritance to but the 'S' back into place. And then searched... But it didn't matter how much I looked - I couldn't find anything conclusive.

I tried to work it out, how far along I'd be. I decided, using the research findings, that I would buy those cheaper tests that come in a box of two. I would take one next week, and the one after if necessary. Would I believe a positive?

There was only one person I felt comfortable to turn to. It wasn't my closest friend, Keira, who was in University getting her degree in law. It was my other best friend, Holly. Holly had got pregnant when we were leaving school and she now had a 3 year old son called Corey. Corey was a shy, pleasant boy who didn't run about anywhere unless he was comfortable with his environment and Holly took great pride in being his Mum.

Can we meet up soon love, i need to ask your advice. xxx

I sent the text, and she replied by calling.

"What's the matter?" she asked, as soon as I picked up.

"Uhm, Hi. Well... Oh gosh," I started crying.

"Are you okay? I can't come see you, Corey is poily. He's been throwing up, poor little mite."

"I... I think I'm pregnant. Infact, I'll really sure! But the test just said negative. I don't believe it. Can we text instead?" I sniffed out every world, barely breathing.

"Sure love."

She hung up and we texted, I made a point of wishing Corey would get well soon and then proceeded to talk about my symptoms, and what she'd experienced. But it was so long ago, she was struggling to remember everything.

She hadn't had much support from her family when she'd got pregnant, it was only in the last month that they'd realised that she needed them. Holly's boyfriend, Kyle, had stuck around until Corey was a couple of months old, then he cheated on her. It broke her heart. I couldn't have felt any more sympathy for her, I was devestated for her, and furious with Kyle.

I slumped into the sofa and wondered about my Mum. Did she ever want me? Or could she just not cope? She'd left me with my Dad when I was a couple of months old, Dad told me she'd got post natal depression and simply couldn't cope. My step-mum, Harriet, was a great friend but I struggled to accept her abandoning me. I wasn't all that keen on my step-siblings either; Lily, who was now 15 or Joe, who is now 11.

There was another person I could ask though and that was Harriet's friend, Louise. She often paid to be to babysit her children. I knew that she wouldn't tell Harriet either. I rung her immediately.

"Oh, I was about to ring you!" She chirped down the phone, "I really need you to babysit for me on Sunday, for a couple of hours?"

"Yeah, sure," I chirped back, "I need to speak to you about something like."

"Go ahead and say it, or... come over tonight, I have wine!"

"I don't think I can drink it anymore..."

"Oh my gosh! Get your arse here, babe, you definately need an urgent talk with Mama Lou!"

"Haha, well, okay... I'll come over, it'll take me about an hour?"

"That's fine. I'm in all day, I just fancied cleaning the bathroom. The bathroom can bloody wait!"

"Okay, thanks, see you soon!"

"Okay hun, cya!"

I checked I looked okay and making sure I had my keys and phone on me, I took the 20 minute walk to Louise's house, stopping at the newsagents for a can of fanta. I really wanted fanta. Was this a craving? I shook off the thoughts, determined not to think anymore until I arrived at Louise's.

Louise greeted me with a cuddle. We had a cup of tea and it made me feel sick, but I continued to talk through my feelings. Louise was being very understanding, and then she grabbed my hand and lead me to the kitchen.

"Comon', you are taking a test! A cheap, crappy test that I have in my drawer!" She demanded, rummaging around the draw full of random bits and pieces in her kitchen. Yes, her kitchen! "Aha! Here it is... "

She pulled out a famous pound shop pregnancy test and put in my hands. My jaw dropped.

"I'm scared it'll say negative."

"And if it is, you take one next week, and the week after. Afterwards, you don't need to test, because you may not be, but a doctors appointment will be needed! So go take it!"

"Your not gonna tell Harriet if I am?"

"It's not my news to tell. You'll probably wanna wait 'til your more that 12 weeks, so your out of the danger zone, as it's known..."

"Okay, I am hoping I can pee. I get stage fright with these sticks."

"Go do it!"

And so I ran up the stairs and put the tap on full blast. I definately needed a wee...

Then there was that two minute wait. I placed the test on the floor and carefully sorted myself out, flushed and washed my hands.

Then I looked at the test. Oh... my... it's... true.

A very clear two red lines!

I squealed and yelped, began crying and laughing. I dispensed with the test pot, staring at those lines of change and Louise burst through the door. Her eyes fell on those lines. We looked at each other amazed for a moment or so.

"Congratulations!" She exclaimed, "You are pregnant, for sure."

"I already knew, but now... I really know!" I grinned happily.

I felt an unbelievable amount of excitement, and I shook with fear too. But it felt so good. I knew I was, and now I'm going to become a Mummy.

And now, I had to face telling Will - and yes, I was suddenly scared.