Please Stay

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

We sat down in Burger King with our food and the conversation began.

"I think it's time to start buying the baby things, isn't it?" He said.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is. Well at least the pure basics. You do know we're going to need a little set of drawers for clothes?" I replied, "I've got my eyes on a decent set... in the second hand shop."

"So, that's good... let's not spend so much on things that wont be used forever," He said, "I can't believe it. It's actually real."

"You would have seen a bump before now if I had been skinny in the first place," I told him, laughing.

"Shut up, I don't approve of skinny. You'd lose your boobs and curves and stuff."

"I've got a few curves too many and I'm about to get more curves, one big round one in particular!"

"I do recognise that."

"I was thinking... if I get everything with the rest of my pay packet, after I've contributed to bills and stuff-

"I did some sums the other day, Josie, I think if I pay rent, electric and all that, and you pay for the baby stuff and the shopping then we should do okay."

"What about when the baby comes?"

"I think I'll be able to afford it, just. I think we can get some help..."

"Let's not think about that right now, I'm still bouncing off the walls. I don't want to ruin my good mood."

We continued with our food and then we went around some baby shops to get an idea about the prices of things. Damn! This was going to be very expensive. It's a shame that baby showers haven't caught on over in England... I'd rather that then stinking Halloween! Oh, I hate Halloween. Bad memories, baaad memories.

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When I got home, I went on Facebook and messaged everybody to say that I would be de-activating my account in a couple of days, and put a status on saying: 'Well, it's finally time to delete Facey! Only 5 months to go:)'. Then I deleted my Tumblr so that I wouldn't be persuaded to blog everything. I didn't want to share everything. Yes, I was proud but it felt so precious that I just wanted to keep it between Will, I and the people who actually care. Emails would be my form of contact and I joined netmums as I reckoned I would need some advice sooner or later.

One of my work colleagues told me that they had kept a 'pregnancy diary' so that they could vent anger and cherish special moments. I thought it was a brilliant idea, and bought a nifty floral notebook on my way home. This would be something to look back on.

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Louise had realised that I couldn't come to her 34th birthday, but I'd come over with a card and some chocolates. She asked how I was doing and whether or not Will was coming around to the pregnancy and she demanded that I text her once I feel the first kick. I agreed. It seemed I got on with Louise much better than my step-mum, Harriet.

However, a birthday party I couldn't pass up was Joe's 12th birthday. I was nearly 18 weeks pregnant and my bump was definitely showing. It's funny how it just kind of jumps out at you. You don't seem to notice your expanding stomach, you just notice that you have somehow got much bigger.

My darling Grandma had managed to get to Joe's birthday party and she looked over the moon to see me pregnant. She was 78 years of age, she had aged delicately and she had remained placid. I always felt a stab of pain when I saw her because I always thought it might be the last, never the less I sat next to her most of the time.

And then I got a text from Will, who was still at work - getting some overtime in. It seemed it was my birthday too;

Hey baby, I got us a camera. David sold me it for £20. I reckon we should start taking pictures. Phone ones never get printed. Talk later, love you xx

I was over the moon. I was so sure that he'd finally become very excited about becoming a Daddy. Well, I was... the word 'sure' gave doubt an entrance into my mind.