Please Stay

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

That night, I didn't eat. I didn't dare go downstairs. I heard the football on the t.v. and a take away being delievered. Will even called upstairs to ask me if I wanted any but I just started crying. I ran myself a bath and almost fell asleep with my hands on my belly. I knew there was a life in there and the bath soothed my back. I got into some nice PJs, I got into bed and decided that sleep was the best thing for it.

I felt Will crawl into bed and he put his arm around me, he held me close and tight. I cried tears of relief, and snuggled into the hold. Had he accepted the fact that I was pregnant? Did he feel guilty? I didn't know if I cared all that much, I just needed holding.

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An awkward week passed and I decided to take another test, Will waited downstairs whilst I did it and although I knew it was going to come up positive, I still felt terrified. I could hear him come upstairs after I'd flushed the toilet, waiting for them two red lines to show up.

He came into the bathroom slowly. I stud up and we looked each other nervously and those lines showed up.

"So, your definately pregnant then?" He smiled, he looked so frightened.

"Yes, so I best get a full time job sorted out," I told him, "We're having a baby."

"Oh my days!" He put his arms around me and held me tight.

"We're going to have a little family..." I whispered, heart pounding.

He kissed my forehead and then went back downstairs. I took my phone out of my pocket and called the doctors, and managed to get an appointment for Wednesday. And then I squealed with excitement. I didn't feel very real yet although the symptoms certainly were.

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The next day, I managed to convince my boss, Gina, to give me a full-time job in the nursery, but it was only because Sarah was about to have her baby. I couldn't start working fulltime until Sarah had left in April but I was happy with that. Although I realised that my bump would start showing in the next couple of months and that my job would be getting advertised then.

Will was pleased with this but he showed no enthusiasm when I went on to say that I would be able to afford a nice cot-bed and other various objects. Was I speaking about it too soon? It was frustrating that he couldn't be straight with me. Did he just not want me to pregnant? Did he have somebody else? I banished the idea... ofcourse not!

I decided that I had to meet up with Holly. She would know how I was feeling. And she was all too happy to, since Corey was with his Grandma.

"Josie," She grinned, "I'm so happy for you."

"I'm so excited too. I don't even care about this aching back or these boobs hurting all the time. I'm kind of proud of it. Something like that anyway..." I smiled, and we continued to walk around the park we'd met in.

"So, is Will happy about it?"

"I really don't know... He acts like he is, but there is no enthusiasm. I'm really hoping that it's just because he's shocked and hasn't come around to the idea yet. It's just really hard because we're living togher."

"Yeah, it would have been easier if you weren't living together whilst he's like this because your must be stressed and that!"

"Exactly! He was horrible when he spotted the pregnancy test in the bin, his react had me crying. He was... mad at me. Like I'd done it on purpose. I don't know if it's because he hasn't adapted to living together well, or because he doesn't want to be a Dad yet. It's a rusty subject. I can't even talk to him. He's all closed doors! So much is running through my mind. I thought he'd be really happy, I must be crazy..."

"Don't be silly! It's not like you have been together two minutes. You two are so close."

"We were, until I got pregnant. I'm really excited. Like my heart pounds faster knowing there's a little life inside of me."

"I feel for you hun, I don't wonder you wanted to see my urgent."

"I think if I stay away from him as much as possible for these upcoming weeks that he'll come around to it, I just don't want to be around him with this negativity. I want to enjoy being pregnant. I really do, I've dreamt about it for so long."

"I know you have. Let's go get you a pregnancy book! You are going to enjoy this! You are, honey. Your gonna embrace and sooner or later he'll come around to it."

And so we went off to get a book about pregnancy. I chose a week-by-week one, deciding to get the 'new mummy' book with my next pay cheque.

Holly was right. Just because Will was being unsupportive and unenthusiastic didn't mean I should happy about it. My heart was telling me that a little miracle had happened. I felt it was meant to happen, and I was already feeling so much love. I couldn't wait to feel the flutters or the kicks, I couldn't wait for the scans.

"I think you are feeling better now, and I must pick Corey up," Holly smiled, "I'm only a text away. You ought to remember that!"

We shared a hug and we went off back to our own lives.

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My doctors appointment was much quicker than I expected. Doctor Scholls asked me when my last period was and how I discovered I was pregnant. He made made notes on the computer and told me to take a written note saying 'midwife appointment please' to the reception.

The receptionist smiled brightly and gave me forms to fill in so I could be assigned a midwife and then I was sent on my way, saying that I would be sent a letter for a midwife appointment soon enough.

I couldn't wait! It was just a shame that Will only muttered an 'okay' when he was told about it. I literally wanted to chuck the television at his head. It was only a matter of time before I would demand to know why he was being such an arse. He was being an arse, after all, it's not just in my head. I'm not over-exadurating...