Time

41;

The time Gemma came to stay.

I was embraced into a tight hug the second I opened the door to my LA home. Gemma had finally arrived here and it felt good to have a piece of home with me.

I'd really gotten use to LA life, so much so I was even considering making it my permanent place, but deep down I knew; my heart would always be in London.

"You alright, brother?" She smiles stepping back from the hug, I help her with her luggage.

"Better now you're here, I was getting lonely."

Gemma shrugs. "You could always return home."

I show her to her room that she always uses when she stays and let her freshen up, I make us both a coffee and some toast.

"That's better," Gemma smiles walking into the kitchen with her wet hair now tied up and some different clothes.

"Flight over was good?" I hand her the coffee.

"Thanks. It was long but it went okay, I watched three films and read,"

"I usually do that too,"

"So how have you been over here?"

I knew the actual question was 'how have you been since the Esther thing?' But my sister being my sister wanted to dance around it just so I didn't get too upset, but I wouldn't.

I'd handled the Esther situation a lot better than I thought I would if I'm honest. I know my mum was mad that I walked away, that I didn't turn around and go after Esther.

But something told me not to.

I had this gut feeling that was just telling me it wasn't the time, even though I'd been the one to confess my feelings, yes, it was a relief but it didn't necessarily mean that it was supposed to be the way I wanted it.

Watching Esther walk into that church broke every last part of my heart and I promised to never feel like that again, me walking through security was right at the time because she walked away first.

It wasn't meant to be, it wasn't our time.

It took me a few weeks to get the image of a heartbroken Esther stood in her wedding dress at the airport out of my head. I'd wake up in the middle of the night sweating and breathing heavily from the constant nightmares.

But eventually I got used to it, the empty void. I filled it with drinking and partying, no it's not the best way to handle things but it's what I needed.

But like anything or anyone that's difficult to get over, I had my good days and bad days. There were days I thought I'd fixed myself, I was finally over her, but then I'd sleep with someone or accidentally open our messages that I'd kept and I'd ask myself if I'd ever get over Esther Louise Taylor.

"I've been great, Gem."

She gives me look, a look of 'really?'

"Really," I smile. "I've got the LA heat, LA women, LA food.. What more can I ask for?"

"I saw Esther," Gemma blurts.

I wasn't shocked or annoyed, I kind of expected it. They were friends too and they both lived in London, I couldn't really feel anything towards it.

"Oh?" I always tried my best to not ask for too much information about her, not because I don't care, but because I don't want to know if she's moving on or if she's got someone new. I knew she hadn't, I still follow her social medias and Esther isn't the type to 'get under someone to get over someone'.

"Yeah, she's doing really well with her job, she's got so much on,"

I nod taking our mugs and placing them in the dishwasher. "Sounds good,"

"H,"

With my back to her I close my eyes. "Yes?"

"She misses you,"

I slowly turn, wiping my hands on a towel. "Oh,"

"She's not the same.. She just, I think she needs you."

I shake my head. "She doesn't-"

"I spoke to Niall," She interrupts.

"He went round to hers, said she was drunk. Her place was a mess, at least three empty wine bottles in the bin." Gemma swallows. "He also said that when he hugged her she was paper thin,"

I close my eyes trying to rid the image of Esther but it didn't work. I had thought a few times about whether or not she'd dip again - and I was right.

"But she's okay now?"

Gemma smiles sadly. "She said she is, but we all know the real answer."

I nod.

"You should contact her-"

"No Gemma,"

Gemma sits back as if she's been scolded for stealing a cookie.

"It's time we both move on," I say quietly.