Through The Dark

Unbelievable

Today was the day I finally get to hear our baby's heartbeat. I'm just about fifteen weeks along now. My bump is barely visible but it's there. We haven't told the public about our baby yet, but we're planning on making a video in the next few days. I've been putting off hearing the baby's heart because Niall couldn't make it to my first appointment. It was moved up and he couldn't get home in time. We're having an in-home visit this time, since I feel more comfortable here.

The door bell rings and I pull myself off the couch. My center of gravity is already completely screwy. I walk down the front steps and open the door. "Hi there! My husband is upstairs getting changed. Come on in." I smile and follow her back up the steps. "Niall, she's here!" I call up the stairs. I suddenly hear the door open quickly and he comes racing down the stairs.

"Hello, Niall Horan. Nice to meet you." He sticks out his hand as he catches his breath.

"Hi, it's a pleasure. My name is Rachel and I'm Sam's midwife." She shakes his hand. I can tell he's beyond nervous as he bites his already chapped lips. Don't say something stupid. Don't say something stupid.

"Ah yes, one of the few people who has seen my wife's vagina." He says and laughs nervously. I my mouth falls open and I elbow him in the ribs. "Ow, sorry." He puts his hand on my hip.

"I'm sorry...."I say and she just nods. Great, I've already scared her away. Time to find a new midwife. "We'll be over here..." I gesture her to the living room. I lay down in the recliner and she pulls up the chair next to me.

"So today we will be listing to the baby's heart beat and finding out the gender, correct?" She asks, seemingly forgetting about the awkward moment that happened. Hopefully.

"Um, just the baby's heartbeat. We want to keep the gender a surprise." I answer and look at Niall.

"I mean, we already know what it is. It's a boy." He says and I shake my head.

"We don't know for sure, he just think's so." I squeeze his hand a little harder, trying to get him to shut up.

"Ow, stop." He pulls his hand away.

"You two need to relax. Believe it or not, this is one of the better appointments I've been to. You guys are fine." She says with a reassuring smile. "Let's get started... Lift your shirt for me?" I listen and pull it up to my chest. "This is a fetal doppler, it'll let us here the baby's heart. Are you ready?" I nod and Niall lowers himself to sit on his knees. She presses the wand to my stomach and a loud fuzzy noise comes through the speaker. "Let's see..." She moves it around. I take Niall's hand and squeeze my lips together. "There it is..." WooshWooshWooshWoosh. Over and over again. I look over at Niall, just as his blue eyes fill with tears. The three of us are quiet again as we listen to the monitor.

"That's our baby Sammie..." He kisses my forehead. "He's really in there." He chuckles a little and wipes his eyes. "Unbelievable." The tears continue down my face as I rub my tummy. There's a baby in there.

Three minutes later, she clicks off the machine. "Do you want to see it?" She asks as she pulls a laptop like device from her bag.

"Of course we want to see him." Niall says, correcting her. He does it to anyone now, including the boys, that calls our baby an 'it.' She squirts the cool blue gel onto my tummy and I shiver.

"This is an ultrasound machine that will let us see him or her. It's a 4D machine, meaning we may see a little bit more detail to you baby." She places the wand on my tummy. She's quiet for a minute as she moves around the wand. "Wait is that two...?"

"What?" Niall and I both say.

"Paperbag. Paperbag." Niall looks over to the coffee table.

"I'm kidding. I do that to all my first time parents. I really shouldn't but it's funny." She says and smiles.

"Great. Thanks." Niall grumbles. "Go on. Lemme see my child."

"Wait. Will this give away the gender?" I stop her.

"I can hide it, don't you worry. And most new parent's can't tell unless I specifically point something out." She says and nods. "There you go." She turns the screen around.

There sat our baby. His hands sat up by his mouth on the sepia screen. That is our baby....

I hear Niall sniffle again and look over. He wipes his face and kisses me again. "Wow..." Is all he says before he stands up. "How big is he right now?" He asks.

"About the size of an apple." She replies and Niall looks down at his hands. "He's now perfecting his lungs and he can sense light. Have you felt any kicks yet?" She asks and I shake my head. "Alright, you might start feeling some flutters as he moves around. In the next month, Niall will soon be able to feel the light kicks from the outside." I look up and he has a big smile on his face. "Well, your next appointment will be at my office in four weeks from today and I'll see you there! I'll get a reminder card out to you and email you the 4D picture tonight." She stands up, handing me a wet wipe to clean my stomach.

"Thank you so much." Niall says and helps me up. "We saw our baby Sam." He says as she walks out the door. "We made that baby. Together. Like we did that. We made a baby. We made that baby through love and vodka Sam. Right here on this living room floor. Love and vodka."

"It was nice until you brought that up." I laugh and he pulls me into his arms.

"I know I'm sorry. But I think I'm going to go write a last minute song called Love and Vodka to add to my album...." He smiles and presses his lips against mine. "But anyways, I have to be at the studio in a half hour. We're going to add the finishing touches to the album. I'll be home in a couple hours, love." I sigh and pull away. "I know, I'm sorry."