Through The Dark

Gone

      I open my eyes and I'm met with Sam's tired, tearstained eyes. She wiped my face with a cool cloth and sat back up. "Niall, how are you feeling?" Sam asks. "You hit the ground kind of hard..." She rubs the back of my head and I wince. "I'm sorry, Niall." She kisses my forehead. "Let's get to the hotel. Harry wants to talk when you're ready... And Liam called." I nod and she helps me sit up. She walks with me, carrying Olivia, out the back door to the truck. My phone vibrates and I pull it out of my coat pocket. Louis. I didn't want to answer. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I just wanted this to be over. I want to be home, like life was before.
      "Yeah?" I answer and get in the car.

  "You've heard, right?" He replies and I stay quiet. "You have." I'm choked again and look back down. I felt bad I was having Sam do all the work right now. "I'm flying out to Seattle on Tuesday...will you be there?"

       "You bet..." Sam got into the drivers side and backed away. She followed the police escort and we were off to the hotel. "Louis...I still can't believe it..." I shake my head.

      "I know... How'd you find out?"he questions and I look out the window.

       "Sam told me after my show."

       "Harry came over to our place in tears... That poor kid. Madi had to come pick him up, she said he's not taking it well..." I wasn't taking it particularly well either. "I'll talk to you in a bit, Liam and I are going over to Harry's. He'll probably be calling you soon...as soon as he pulls himself together a bit." I just nod, even though I know he can't see me. "Bye Niall. Love you." And the phone clicks off before I can respond.
       

"It'll be okay..." Sam takes my hand. My head continues to pound and I close my eyes. "Just rest...I'll wake you up when we get to the hotel." She kisses my knuckles and I don't say anything, just close my eyes.

     "Ni..." I feel Sam against my cheek. "Let's go sweetie..." I open my eyes and she is standing outside of the car. "Bellhop is taking our bags up right now, let's get up there." She takes my hand and I take Olivia's car seat from her. We walk slowly up to the elevator and she walks to our room. 

"Finish your napping...I've got to give Olivia a bath anyway..." She starts to unpack Olivia's night bag. I take Olive out of her carrier and hold her against my chest. I kiss the top of her head.

      "I love you so much, little Olive." I wipe my face and lay back on the bed, still holding her against me. She stretches her little arms and let's out a big yawn. "I love you..." Sam takes her slowly from me, walking to the bathroom. My phone goes off once again. Harry. I sigh and close my eyes. I wasn't really prepared for this. "Hey lad..." I softly say. The line is quiet for a moment.
     

 "Niall.... It's good to hear your voice. Jesus. So good." I can here the tears in his voice and my throat tightens up. "What was the last thing he said to you?" He asks. I stop for a minute and think.

      "Goodbye. He thanked me then said goodbye. Then he was gone..." I sighed and Harry was quiet. I could just feel him crying on the other end.
     

  "He called me...when he landed in Seattle.. He said he didn't...want to cry when he left me....But he just wanted me to know he got home safe.." He says slowly, his voice broken. "Dammit."

      "We'll be okay." I just repeated Sam.  Who knows if I actually believed what I preached. I had to be strong for Harry. "You're flying in, right?" I ask.
     

  "Yeah...the kids are going to my mum..." We both stay quiet for a while, just listening to each other cry. This wasn't something I thought I'd have to go through...this young. "Liam and Louis are here..." He finally speaks.

"How does Liam look?" I ask. I haven't spoken to him at all.

  "A lot better than me, but not good..." I can hear Madi in the background, quietly offering them tea. "I wish we were all together again..." He mumbles.

     "Soon."
     "Soon." Replied Harry. "I love you, Niall. we're going to get some sleep here. If we can."
    

  "Harry... Have you slept at all?" I ask.

     "No..." I look down at my watch. It was going on 7 am in England. If I was the last to get the news, he's been awake since 5 am. At least.

     "Harry... Please. Go back to bed. It's not good for you..." I close my eyes. I can feel myself drifting off. "Promise me you'll try to get some sleep. If you have to, call your mom to watch the kids. These next few weeks are going to be hard on all of us, you need rest." I don't know where I was getting this from, but I liked it.

     

"We'll try." He simply responds. "Call me if you need anything."

     "I will, I promise." I answer. "Love you, sleep tight." Sam comes back to me, with Olivia in her pajamas. She's hands me the very sleepy baby and I hold her close. She gets her little portable bed all set up and lays her down. "Goodnight olive." Sam crawls in next to me and I cuddle into her. "I can't believe it." I mumble. "I can't believe I lost my best friend." I let a few tears fall again. She runs her fingers through my greasy, tousled hair. Something about  laying with her was so comforting. I take a deep breath. "I can't believe Zayn is actually gone."