You never noticed

Gave up

Thank you for reading this story! last final two chapters!

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A day can have so many  moments. Can have so many laughs, desperations, happiness, fights, running or even dying. Life is too short to mess up with. When you die, you can't do anything with that and regret the things that you haven't done when you had lived. You need to take a risk so you will experience how getting hurt and how you will be strong. I, who had existed for 17 years with nature and present generations only then realized that I was left behind.

I have no friends, no peer circles, nor even a brother. I then realized that how I was alone and being an introvert doesn't makes me different either. It is true indeed that regrets came late. I regret that I didn't let myself be attached and I regret that I had not forced my mother to be pregnant again to had a sister or a brother. so here Iam, crying alone inside my room.

I was afraid back then. I was afraid that whom I love would leave me behind so I didn't care to have friends nor to have someone. I was freaking afraid that they would come and they would go. So, I decided to divert my attention to Vin. He was something. He was freaking something. But I had never thought that letting go of him would be more difficult and hurt than falling and saw him hurting.

I didn't know that this would be more difficult. It was freaking difficult to avoid vin, it is freaking difficult not to look at him. How he smiles, how he laughed and how his eyes sparks. But I want to be happy. I want to feel my happiness and Vin had never noticed that he was. He never noticed everything.

You never noticed Vin. You never noticed how I was hurt. You never noticed how my heart shattered. You never noticed that I was falling. You never noticed every fucking thing. And I'm tired of waiting in vain. I'm freaking tired. I have no choice but to let go. I need to let go of you, before I become more desperate just to get you. I need to let go before I hurt you just what I did before. It hurts me freaking so much to see you hurting and think that I was the one who did that. I need to let go my fucking feelings.

And for the first time, I was like a fragile woman. I was broken. I was devastated. It was very difficult. I had sleepless days and hadn't eaten for days. I lost all my strength, I was like a empty hole suffering alone. It hurts like hell. It hurts more than any shits.

It was saturday night. I was laying on my bed when I felt my phone vibrated. It was the jerk. I hesitated at once  but then I decided to picked it up and then asked myself. If I had not met this jerk, would things changed? If I had not met him, Would things lay still? If I had not met him, would I be able to let go just like now? Would Vin noticed me? No. No. He would never noticed me.

So, I asked the jerk what he wants. And suddenly my memories of Louis and the accident came to my mind. The fears came within me when the jerk started to talked bunch of stupid things that I didn't understand. And I swear, I heard his voice cracked and his cries in the line.

So, I asked him whats wrong. And you know what he said? He said that he was sorry. He said that he was sorry for everything. He was sorry for playing with me. He was sorry for messing my life. and the last thing that broke my heart is when he said that he was happy. He said that he was happy that he met me.

I felt my heart wrapped and I forced myself not to cry but within a minute the line went dead. I didn't even say anything. I didn't even say any fucking to him.

Because just like that, he was gone. Dean was gone. He was fucking gone. He just gave up. He just gave in. So was I.