Lynn POV
"I miss you so much" Shawn gushed over FaceTime.
"I do too. I wish you were here to cuddle with me" I pouted
"Where's Sugar?" Shawn asked and I flipped the camera over to the stuffed teddy
"He sleeps with me every night" I smiled
"I'm glad, I hope he hasn't taken my place in cuddliest person" Shawn said
"Don't worry. He hasn't" I winked and Shawn laughed
"Hey Shawn, I was wondering if you had the lyrics we were working on last night? By the way, here's your hoodie. Sorry about falling asleep on your bunk last night" Shawn looked up and seemed to have his gaze focused on something... Actually someone
"Um, it's fine Camilla. Just set it over there. The lyrics are in the table, I'll catch up to you later. Hey, say hi to my girlfriend Lynn!" Shawn said and soon enough Camilla Cabello was on the screen
"I didn't know you have a girlfriend.." Camila fake smiled
"Hey Shawn, I'll let you go. You clearly have stuff to do and I don't wanna get in the way. Plus, you're probably tired and you should rest. I love you so much." I pressed the red button before Shawn could reply back.
I tried to stop my imagination from running wild and just tried to have some trust that he wouldn't do anything. Two years has had to mean something to him!
I put on my playlist on shuffle and Say something by a great big world came on.
I rolled my eyes and turned off the music. This wasn't helping.
I got my penny board and took it our for a spin since music wasn't really helping right now.
"Collins!"
I turned around and saw two familiar twins.
"Hey Grayson, hey Ethan" I smiled at them
"Long time no see! You've forgotten about us" Ethan pouted
"I haven't... I've just been busy" I sighed
"Busy with Shawn Mendes?" Grayson smirked
"Ehh. How's life been treating you?" I asked
"We've started our own youtube stuff, it's pretty cool" Ethan shrugged
"Bet you have the girls practically drooling. Practically fighting over you" I chuckled
"It's pretty funny though" Grayson laughed
"Hey, did you hear? Hayes is back in town"
"Yeah, I did. He payed me a visit." I shrugged
"We've hung out with him, he still talks about you"
"More like, you're all he talks about" Grayson cut off Ethan
"Can we not talk about him, please?" I asked
"You're right. Wanna go get ice cream?" Grayson asked and I nodded immediately.
I spent the rest of the day with the twins, just laughing and having a good time. Turns out they were touring now and having loads of fun along the way.
I wish I could've been a better friend to everyone and actually cared about what they were interested in, instead of being self centered.
Who would've known they were into this stuff? I surely didn't. Jess was taking photography lessons now. Vanessa now was taking a class in fashion. Me? I was doing absolutely nothing.
All my dreams and ambitions were destroyed by some stupid boys. I let them get in the way.
Now that I've realized this, I can't help but feel ashamed of myself.
I think it's time I get off cloud nine.
"Bye!" I waved to the twins as they went off on their skateboards.
I felt my phone buzzing in my back pocket and I immediately found Shawn's name flashing on the front screen.
"Hey" Shawn's face appeared on the screen
"Hey" I smiled back
"Listen, there's nothing going on with Camilla and I. She's been helping me out with music and she's actually really cool-"
"It's okay Shawn. I trust you" I cut him off
"You sure? Cause I can even get her on the phone to tell you that herself" Shawn stuttered
"It's fine. Don't worry" I nodded
"Phew! Thank god" Shawn sighed
"I need to talk to you about something"
"What's up?" He asked
"So I've been thinking and I want to major in writing."
"That's great babe! I'm glad you want that" Shawn smiled
"Yeah me too, I've just been focused on so many things that probably aren't even worth my time" I said
"Like what?" Shawn asked
"Just everything. Everything was clear earlier. I knew what I wanted to do and then I let people get in the way and it's left me clueless." I explained
"But everything's good now right? You know what you want now right?" Shawn asked
"Yes I think I do" I said
"I'm glad. I'm very happy for you" Shawn grinned
"And I also think we should take a break"
Shawn's grin disappeared immediately and the line went silent for a bit.
"I thought we were doing fine" Shawn spoke softly.
"We are and honestly you're the only person who's stuck with me through out everything.. And I can't thank you enough but I need to find myself. I need to know for sure what I want and what I need. I don't want to feel this way anymore. Everyone's doing what they love and I want to do that too. You've done nothing wrong, I just... I don't want to drag you into my mess." I explained
"But, I can handle it" Shawn argued
"We're going into different directions. Maybe one day when we're both sure what we want and when we cross paths... we'll start all over together but right now I can't do it. I want to be a good person not some freak who just lives off of you. I want to be good for you" I explained furthermore
"But you are. You're everything I've ever needed and wanted... But I understand. I don't know what I would've done without music. I understand that you want to do this for yourself and I'm okay with it. Just know I love you, and if you ever need anything I'm here and always will be. I'll be waiting " Shawn smiled a bit.
"Thankyou, you don't know how much this means to me. I love you too."
"Alright well, I kinda have to go now for sound check but please keep and touch. Don't let me become just another memory"
"You wouldn't be just another memory, not even if you tried. Goodbye Shawn"
"Goodbye Lynn."
