punk hazard: gratsu

Gray the FanBoy's Big D***

Le POV di kami-sama aka da author (yes today the author is not in her priest mode but she's in her god-mode

"Someone... D-Do something!" Sting cried out as he watched his brother struggle in vain. A few more seconds and he'd be done for.

"I'll try cut him down or something!" Erza could not let her childhood crush simply die.

Yet crack ships cuz the author is shoving a strap-on in a recently dead Jellas asshole. He's in heaven with me bitches.

Anyways...

"Ice-Make...?" Gray had his fist placed on his other palm. However he no idea what to make. A giant block of ice to stand on perhaps. Although here he was trying to save someone who nearly killed him and his family. Caused another revolution in his nation. Hurt his brother. And his Natsu. Gray muttered a few words before a giant block of ice shot from the ground.

"What...?" For once Rogue had nothing intelligent to say.

"Mavis' great buttocks! What the fuck?" Sting cried out.

"Now that's just messed up." Gray looked over at his husband and grinned. Natsu simply shook his head in bafflement and slight amusement.

Well young readers. You see this giant block of ice was fashioned to be a certain shape. The tip was curvier than it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be a straight so Cobra could stand on it.

But, Gray had just made the biggest ice sculpture of a penis.

And since Cobra could not stand on it he was forced to sit at the tip. The end prodding his asshole. Causing him to have the most pissed expression ever made by any straight man.

"Well then, I would cut him down but... Does anyone have a camera?" Erza asked. Sorry, but for Erza, seeing Cobra being analed by a giant ice dick. Well...

"I do." Levy breathed out as her inner fujoushi took over once again.

"LEVIII!" Gajeel screamed out. Everyone looked back silently.

"Do I look like a hot, short, Titan-slayer." She muttered. (You do look short£

"Listen here, ya shit-heads!" Gajeel whispered menacingly. "I don't care if he dies now or later. He's going to end up dying today right after I kill him. FYI, there's no possible way of breaking that chain around his neck. So to put it simply, if I break that 'dick', the other dick will die. Understood? Now can someone explain to me, why Lisanna is a man called Natsu?" He seemed beyond pissed. So Natsu decided to say something.

"Ah, well. It's a really long story. But you don't seem to have a life so I'll take my time to explain my life story." Natsu exclaimed. Gajeel kissed his teeth and waved his hand to indicate he should begin his story.

"Well it all began when Mavis created the world along time ago. She created the earth and-" Natsu was cut off by literally everyone.

"Don't start from the actual beginning! And wrong fanfic!"

(Yes there goes me advertising my own fics)

"Fine long story short- my dad lost a bet. My whole life, I was forced into being a girl. Seriously as a kid I had gender identity issues since I kept dressing as a girl. Man it was so hard for me-" he was once again interrupted.

"Bae, fuck... Thanks for fucking being so fucking open for the first fucking time in your whole fucking life. Fuck, now ain't the fucking time..." Gray whispered loudly to Natsu.