Letters To Ava

Nine: Jessie And Woody

Song on the side is Highschool Never Ends by Bowling For Soup. Do me a favor and play it while reading. You know, just for kicks! xD

On with the story!

-----------

"Dear Ava,

Tuesday. I think Mom's right about the photographic memory thing. I passed the exam, thank God..."

I crumple the paper and toss it, aiming for the small trash bin by the corner across my room, but failing as it lands near it. I sigh and walk over to it and grumpily put it where it belongs.

I go back to my study table and get a fresh new paper. For the past thirty minutes, I've wasted six pieces of paper, which is pretty much bad for Mother Earth, since it-she?-works hard to sprout trees and shrubs and flowers for my-us, really-benefit, like paper and wood and lumber and timber-wait, aren't those the same thing?

Anyway. I couldn't think of anything to write about Ava. What could I tell her next? I know I promised her that I would write to her every freaking day about days that matter to me, or that revolve around her, really. Everything seems to gravitate around her. Like she's the sun, and the rest of us orbit around her, the planets. Or is it just me that's thinking like this? She's my sun, and I'm the only planet. Only me 'cause it's pretty damn clear I haven't gotten over her, and it seems like it's only me that's taking it too hard. I'm taking it even worse than Ava's folks!

Man, I am so whipped.

I lie down on my bed. I need someone to talk about this. A shrink? Got two words for ya: Hell. No. Cody? I snort. No. he can't know about this. He'd think I'm insane! It's better if he doesn't know about this. Don't get me wrong, he is my bro and everything...but there's still some stuff you'd prefer to keep it, as opposed to broadcasting it. Hell, no one was supposed to know about me writing letters to Ava. Sarah was just an accident. I was writing a letter when-Bam! Out of nowhere the door opens and Sarah found me writing a letter. Nosy as she is, she peeked over my shoulder and gasped. And I felt like she found me stark naked rather than writing a simple letter.

"You're writing a letter! To her! W-why?" she held my gaze and continued. "Why would you hurt yourself like this? Are you hoping she's a spirit and will write back? No! She just won't, Carter. She's gone, get over it!"

I just stayed quiet through her entire outburst. When she was done, I asked her softly if she got it all out of her chest, and if she feels better now that she did. Her gaze softened and she led me to my bed, sat down, pulling me down with her, and squeezed my hand.

"I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "I wasn't thinking. I-I'm not sure why I said that, really. I just-" she broke mid-sentence and finally succumbed to sobs and tears. In between hiccups, she added, "I miss her so much, too! I just can't accept it! I guess me yelling at you was like me yelling at me." She looked at me and asked, "Does it make sense to y-you?"

I just nod and held her. Now I don't know how long we stayed like that, but it felt like hours.

Okay, so maybe I'm not the only planet. Maybe when Ava's death was still the buzz of the town and our pain was still ripe, all of us that knew her-maybe even the Reverend!-were planets. But as time progressed, and months passed, each planet grew distant, and farther and farther away from our sun, my sun. Ava.

*

"Hey, cowboy."

I look around and spot Sarah standing by the doorway, her hand on her hips and smiling at me. She is wearing a typical cowgirl outfit, but ten times better. She's dressed to look like Jessie from the movie Toy Story. But her hair isn't in braided pigtails. They are loose, her hair flirting with the wind blowing behind her...