Don't Fall In Love!

Chapter 52: Aid From Friends

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The world seems to be too twisted and unbelievably unfair. It doesn't show mercy, you live to die and it leads you closer to death each day. But then again life could be so simple if we don't insist in making it confusing. The curiosity that exists in every human being's heart is the only thing that would make life complicated and thrilling. It could sometimes be a blessing, if one chooses to walk the wise path.

I shouldn't even be blaming the universe for the mistakes and foolishness I have done. It sounds so stupid blaming everything but yourself because you refuse to be wrong, you refuse to take the blame of the fire you started.

Because you're weak.

You keep running away but you're not getting any further. You claim you're not guilty and you're not responsible for your own sins when you keep hiding yourself and becomes so indenial and defensive. I can't blame the world, it's my life I'm living, and the world is living its own life too.

Maybe I just don't want to add the weight that is already upon my shoulders that I put them to other people instead.

You know what? Giving up isn't the solution. Some of your decisions make you weak, but giving them up? It just shows how weaker you could really get. You can't fight fire with fire, you can't be more of a coward than you already are.

So I stood up, quit being that stupid whining child that weeps the entire ocean in the corner just because I was accused of something I know I did.

And I'll tell you, being brave is such a good feeling in the soul. Happiness which I thought is an illusion comes and proves itself to me. I've never ever felt so alive and strong.

There are 3 things that could possibly happen after a problem:
(1) Let it drag you down
(2) Learn from it
(3) Use it to be stronger

I went through and overcomed all three of them, which I am thankful for. I still can't believe how I came to a war with no weapon with me. But love is no war, love is love. It comes before pain, and comes after forgiveness. Love is an abstract art made by the abstract God himself and it cannot be defined. It does bring problems, but it prepares you for the biggest event in your life, it has to make sure you're ready to face the person made to be with you for the rest of your life.

But let's be honest here, you can rarely find people who believes love isn't a burden, because it's just like school, it's tiring, somethings hurt you, but we all have to learn for the people around you though sometimes it makes no sense. And some people continue to adore the feeling of love because they've been not blind to see the best of it and they appreciate it. Some people, though, they continue to stay bitter because they had stayed to the dark and was blind to see the light of love, and they blame it for causing problems and bullcrap to their life. I, myself, would admit that I am one of those people, but I'll find and follow the light. We just need to have courage, bravery and try and try and try again. Miracles don't happen twice, it happens a lot.

It makes me proud to see Vars and Nicole happy for me because I was finally breaking down the walls I've built around me. I talked a lot and smiled. Thought majority of those were fake smiles, but hey, it's great since I'm just starting again.

Mom and dad, on the other hand is still not getting along. They would just exchange one or two words in a day. Which really sucks, our family has never been this silent and awkward.

The school corridor wasn't so crowded, there's a special event where everyone is invited. I didn't go, of course. The idea of being around of so much people doesn't sound cool. I was walking around playing a game on my phone that I don't really like, but I had to - no, I wanted to so that I could distract myself from being isolated, trapped and poisoned by my own mind.