Painful Struggles

Go Easy On Her

SEL'S POV

Doctor: The baby didn't make it.. I am very sorry for your loss Mr Tomlinson.

I didn't know what to feel... I looked over at Louis who broke down crying on the floor.

Harry looked over at me with tears rolling down his cheeks, I run over and cry into his chest. I feel his arms wrap around me as he cries into my neck, I feel his wet tears rub against my neck.

Doctor: I'm very sorry for your loss, you can go see Eleanor now.

I watch as the doctor walks away, more tears stream down my cheeks.

Louis: Sel, you can go first, take Harry with you. I don't think she would want me to see her at the moment.

No one says anything, Harry takes my hand and we both walk into El's room.

As soon as we walk in, I look at El, she has bandages on her stomach, a cast on her wrist, and she has tear stained cheeks so obviously she's been crying a lot. 

Doctor: As I said, she's in a comatose state at the moment, but she could actually wake up any time today, as it was due to the blood loss, not any major head injuries.

We both nod and thank the doctor as he leaves the room.

I sit down on the seat next to El's bed, I hold her hand and just cry, I feel Harry wrap his arms around me again, but I still just cry. Why do bad things always happen to the people I love?

I look at her as I hear her stir in her sleep. 

El: Sel.. don't cry please.

Sel: You're up!

Harry: Do you feel any pain? Do you need more medication?

El: I'm fine... where's Louis?

Sel: Don't worry about him at the moment hun, he will come in very soon.

El: I lost the baby Sel, Louis is going to hate me... I lost it, I killed my baby.

I ran over to her side as she cries into my arms.

Harry comes over to whisper in my ear.

Harry: I'm going to go get Louis... he needs to be here for her.

I nod my head as Harry leaves the room to go get the only person that can really be here for El.

HARRY'S POV

It was breaking my heart to see El cry like that, Louis needs to be there for her, she's hurting just as much as he is.

I walk over to Louis side.

Harry: Lou, you need to go in there and be there for her, you know that right?

He looks at me with his red bloodshot eyes.

Louis: I know that Harry, if this wasn't for me, the baby would still be alive, El wouldn't be this hurt, everything would be fine. But if I just had to f*ck up like always and ruin this, I killed my child, I was responsible for all of this.

Harry: Louis, right now, you just need to go in there and be there for El, I know you're hurting but you need to be with her not talking about this too me. I know this must be hurting so much but you need to be strong for El. 

I don't let him say anything, instead, I walk him into El's room, then Sel and I just walk out. 

El's POV

El: Louis please don't hate me.

He looks over at me and comes over to my side and just holds me.

Louis: El, I could never hate you, this is all my fault, if we could turn back time, I would have never done this. If I wasn't such a f*ck up this would have never happened. And you don't know how sorry I am for this. I love you so much and I hope you never forget it.

I could never stop loving this boy, he's my life, no matter what happens in life, I will always love him and be by his side and love him. 

El: I love you Louis. 

I cry into his arms as I feel him cry into my neck. We just lost the most beautiful baby that we could've brought into this world. 

Louis: If the baby was a boy, I was thinking of the name Jacob or Edward. And for a girl, Jess or Lily.

El: I like Edward and Jess.

Louis: Me too.

LOUIS POV

Edward and Jess...

I would've taught Edward to play soccer and video games but then I would spoil Jess and treat her like the princess she deserves. 

I hug El tight, I love her so much that she makes my life complete. 

I look down at her to see her falling asleep in my arms. 

No matter what happens in life, I will always love her and always be there for her. The loss of our baby will always make us sad, but it won't break us.