Chim - Your Sound

Chapter 12

Chapter twelve

Kimberley’s POV

Leaning on one hand, stretched out on the floor I watch her. The way her mouth moves when she speaks, only to interrupt one of the other girls whilst they exchange their stories. They don’t seem to mind, or they have gotten used to it. She does it again, this time she adds a smart remark at the end and they all laugh. I swiftly catch her eyes as she checks to see if I’m listening to her every word. 
I am, and she knows it. When Nicola starts to shout about something loudly, claiming the attention, Cheryl still looks at me, ignoring the others. Leaning back on her arms, her head just slightly tilled she beams confidence, even dominance in a way. I don’t know why but I try to match her, knowing I fail miserably. Because the longer I participate in her staring contests, the deeper her eyes get and the more they start to haunt me. And it makes me wonder if I’ll ever be able to look into them, without feeling like I’m laying completely bare at her mercy. But for now I lose again, averting my eyes. And she stares at me a little while longer, I can feel her doing so as I play with my fingers.
‘No, I’m a way better dancer than you are Sarah.’ Nicola shouts as she gets up, nearly falling over some cushions. 
Laughing I watch Nic twirl around Sarah, entertaining us with an interesting mix of the ‘70’s and a few ghetto moves. ‘You see.’ She pants. ‘You just need some extra flavour, get a little soul in there.’
‘I think you should just stick to those steps your music teachers teaches you. Because you look about as gangster as Ghandi.’ Sarah says, snapping her fingers.
‘And he had better moves too.’ Cheryl shouts.
‘Oh yeah? Well you can all just suck it. All of you.’ Nicola slurs. ‘Making fun of me….At least I dance with my heart and soul. You know what?....You’re all jealous, that’s why you’re laughing at me.’ 
Her overly dramatic speech only results in more laughter. She’s one of the weirdest drunks I’ve ever seen.
‘Just get another drink in you, we were only joking.’ Nadine says, pulling a cranky Nic down to sit next to her.  ‘You know we love you, you little weirdo.’
Cuddling into Nadine she sighs. ‘I love you guys too. You’re way better than my old friends. They could be such a-holes.’
‘Sorry to bust the dream kiddo, but Cheryl here actually puts the A in a-hole.’ Sarah jokes, earning a slap to the back of her head. ‘Aw, why do you always hit me?’ She moans. 
‘No seriously though.’ Nicola interrupts their little quarrel. ‘I really like our group. We’re all different but we fit in. I mean look at me. I never thought I would fit in somewhere. The friends I had were always busy with things I didn’t care about. I just wanted to be on stage you know, sing. My parents work their asses off so I can be here, therefor I work my hardest. And when I heard that Sarah and Cheryl went to our musical performance, well….. I felt overjoyed and very lucky, having friends like that.’
‘Aw, Nic, you big sob.’ Sarah chuckles.
‘I’m sorry, I get a little emotional from the booze sometimes.’ Taking a sip of her drink she sniffs before continuing her confessions. ‘It just means a lot and I really enjoy getting to know you all. Like….Sarah, I thought you were crazy the first time I met you. You just ran around screaming and dancing, but then I learned you’re a real peoples person and real easy to talk too. And Nadine, I thought you were a bit arrogant to be honest but you’re such a sweetheart and I never heard you judge anyone since I’ve known you.’
I listen to her truthful confessions whilst looking around the room, relating to her every word. Sarah with her big soft spot who’s playing with her drink, the caring Nadine who’s holding an emotional Nicola. You just got to love that little redhead. She’s still so young, but never afraid to share her opinions on anything or anyone. 
‘And Kim…’ I turn my head to face her. She  stands up to make her way over. A bit unsteady but with a little help she sits down next to me.
‘We share a love for the stage, the singing, the drama, you truly understand what I mean when I say it’s my life. Because I know it’s yours too. Out of everybody here I think I’ve gotten to know you the best. We’ve not only spend a lot of time together since we got here but you also trusted me with some stories of your life. And I know that you’re one of the bravest people I know.’
When she finishes I hug her tightly. ‘You’re such a sweetheart Nic. And yes, I totally understand where you’re coming from. In a few years we’ll be up there in the West End doing what we love most, won’t we?’
Chuckling she signals for a refill. ‘I hope so.’ 
As Cheryl reaches over with the bottle to fill her glass, Nicola points at her. ‘But you, I don’t get you.’
‘What do you mean?’ Cheryl frowns, sitting back.
‘Well, you’re my neighbour and my friend, really. We got along great in the beginning and you introduced me to Sarah and Nads, but I was surprised to hear you were at the musical, because honestly, I thought you didn’t like me anymore.’ She bows her head a bit.
‘Why would you think that?’ Cheryl replies defensively and an uncomfortable silence fills the room. 
Nicola sighs, thinking about what to say next. ‘Well, at first you were taking me out and we would eat together or hang out. And then, all of a sudden I didn’t see you for weeks and if I did you just ignored me. So I thought you didn’t like me anymore and then I heard you were at the musical this week and you took me out to MacDonalds again. Like nothing ever happened. I’m happy you did but I just don’t understand.’
Cheryl shifts uncomfortable on her cushion whilst Nicola stares at her, waiting for an explanation. I know Cheryl confused Nicola, so I can’t blame her for asking for one. To be honest, I wouldn’t mind hearing it myself. When she ignored everybody for those couple of weeks I thought it was my fault. That I had done something wrong.
She sighs. ‘It wasn’t your fault, I just needed to think some things through.’
‘And now you have?’ Nicola asks sternly. 
Cheryl nods, smiling faintly. It’s clear she doesn’t want to talk about it.
‘Well good, but don’t ignore me anymore though. It made me sad.’ Nicola smiles, leaving my side to make her way over the Cheryl. Almost tipping her over as she hugs her. 
‘You just filled my heart with joy, you little bugger.’ Sarah breaks the silence, addressing Nicola. ‘Fill up my glass too, will you?’
Laughing we continue on a more lose atmosphere as Sarah starts on another one of her stories. After a while Sarah still manages to entertain us all. As she tells about some weird ex-boyfriend of hers my eyes fall on Cheryl, who I haven’t actually heard in a while. She’s leaning with her head against the sofa, looking at the floor. I’m not sure if she’s either drunk, tired or sad, but it concerns me seeing her like this. Tucked in her big grey hoody she looks adorable and I wish I could go over to hold her. It baffles me how she affects my feelings towards her. Sometimes she can be so captivating and other times I just find her utterly adorable. It’s like she has two sides, always battling to come out.
‘Hey, Kimbo. You’re not tired already are you?’ Sarah suddenly moans, startling me a bit. ‘It’s only four.’
I shake my head and take another sip of my wine. ‘I was just thinking about something, never mind.’
‘Ah, spill it.’ Nicola shouts, who’s just plain drunk now. ‘You’re always zoning out on everybody, it’s not fair.’
‘I’m just a bit of a dreamer, I can’t help it.’ I shrug, hoping she’ll drop it as I don’t feel like sharing my thoughts on Cheryl in front of the girls right now. I’m not even sure if they know about us. I’ve told them I’m gay but that’s probably about it.
‘Well if you’re not telling, I’m just going to guess.’ Nicola says squinting her heavy eyes at me.
‘Nic…’
‘Were you thinking about a person?’ She tries.
Four pair of eyes stare me down and one in particular is making me feel very nervous. The big brown ones to be precise, which belong to Cheryl. Imagine what would happen if I told them it’s her I was thinking about. They would probably stop staring at me to see how she reacts to my words. How would she react? Would she be proud about it, or uncomfortable? I don’t know to be honest. As I find it very hard to read her most of the time.
‘I can’t remember Nic, half of the time I don’t even know what I’m thinking about.’ I reply, hoping to end it this way. But as she pulls a face I know it’s a failed try. 
‘Nicola please, we’ve had enough Oprah talk tonight. Now let’s watch that DVD shall we?’ Sarah interrupts her, saving me. 
‘Nooo, I don’t want to.’ Nicola moans. ‘I hate scary movies.’ 
But Sarah is already on her feet. Excited she puts it in and signals us to get comfortable.
Nadine holds out her arms for a wining Nicola to sit next to her and Sarah on the sofa. For a moment I wonder where Cheryl will sit but as she smiles at me I already know the answer. She gets up and joins me on the floor. Shuffling closer I pull up my blanket all the way to our chins as the movie starts.
I’ve never been a fan of the horror genre but not because I can’t handle a bit of fright. Although half way in I realise it’s pretty scary. The living room is completely dark accept from the screen in front of us. Cheryl has snuggled into me and with every scary scene that comes on she tightens her grip on my waist. It makes me chuckle seeing ‘miss tough’ being scared of a movie. Although she probably won’t admit it later on. The plot is near and when the demon appears on the screen Nicola screams loudly, scaring the sh!t out of me. ‘Nic.’ Sarah shouts ‘It’s just a movie.’
‘I’m not watching anymore. F*ck this.’ Nicola wines, hiding her face behind a laughing Nadine. ‘I’m tired anyways.’
She keeps her promise and by the time the credits role by Nicola is a sleep on Nadine’s shoulder. 
‘I’m going to sleep too guys. Can’t keep my eyes open anymore.’ Nadine says, trying to move from underneath Nicola. ‘Ugh, she drooled all over me.’ Nadine sighs, studying the wet spot on her shoulder. 
A laughing Sarah agrees. ‘I call the other sofa, too bad for you Chez.’
‘Oh, you can sleep with me if you want to.’ Nadine offers but Cheryl shrugs her shoulders. ‘Maybe later, I’m not really tired yet. I’m going out for a bit, get some fresh air.’
‘Suit yourself, I’m off. Sleep well girls, I’ve had a lovely night.’ Nadine waves her goodbyes and as she makes her way upstairs Cheryl gets up and heads for the balcony. I’m unsure on whether to follow her. Maybe she wants to be alone for a minute. Torturing my mind on what to do, Sarah breaks my thoughts.
‘Aren’t you going to sleep?’ She asks smirking.
When I can’t think of something to say she continues whilst stretching out on the sofa.
‘So, I heard you went out on a date with a certain friend of mine?’
I nod, Cheryl must have told her.
‘I’ve known her for years now and I never saw her take a girl out on a date. She really likes you, and from the looks, you do too. Yeah, I caught you staring at her a few times tonight.’ She winks at me and I smile.
‘Yeah, I like her a lot. It’s just….’
‘Go on, you can talk to me.’ Sarah assures me, waving her hand.
‘I’m afraid she’ll get bored with me.’ I breath out.
Frowning she looks at me. ‘Already? You just went out on one date.’
‘Eventually I mean, It’s just… I thought about it and I don’t think I’ll fit into her world. It’s so exciting and different and….’
‘And boring.’ Sarah interrupts me. ‘Believe me kiddo, I’ve been in it for years and it gets boring too. Besides I know Cheryl and she doesn’t play around with people. If she puts in the effort to take you out to a dinner and a bloody walk through the park, she sees something in you. If she would’ve thought you were just another girl she could sleep around with for a while she wouldn’t have done that. I assure you. Now go out there on that balcony, because that was definitely a hint. Shoo.’ With that she pulls her blanket up and turns around. ‘Goodnight Kimbo.’

When I open the balcony doors gently to not scare Cheryl I’m greeted with the first rays of sunshine. Nadine wasn’t kidding around about pulling an allnighter.
‘I brought you a blanket.’ I say, walking towards Cheryl.
She’s leaning on the rail, staring into nothing until she hears me speak.
‘Oh, thanks.’ She smiles faintly. ‘It’s a bit cold.’
‘Yeah, I thought so.’ I reply, moving behind her to wrap us both into my blanket.
She leans back into me and I rest my head on her shoulder. We just stand there for a while, enjoying the fresh air and upcoming sun. It’s funny how much joy I feel by just holding her against me. I really hope Cheryl feels the way like Sarah just told me. But then again she did put in a lot of effort. That date was perfect, and the kiss…. Thinking back I can’t help but smile, I was never kissed like that before.
‘Chez.’ I whisper.
‘hmmm?’
‘I’d like to take you out on a date.’ I smile into her warm cheek, leaving a kiss.
I can feel her smile but she doesn’t say anything for a while, making me a bit nervous. 
‘I’d love to go.’ She mumbles before leaning back to look at me. ‘Now can we go inside? I’m exhausted.’
Nodding I take the lead, signalling her to be quiet as we enter.
Without saying a word I take her hand, not letting go of it until we’re inside my room. 
‘It’s quiet huh?’ Cheryl eventually says as we lay in my bed. Her voice croaks a bit. We’ve been laying here for a while now, both not able to sleep. For me it’s mostly the nerves of having her here with me, but I don’t know why she’s still awake. 
‘Do you enjoy it?’ She asks. ‘When it’s quiet?’
I nod. ‘I think it’s nice. Almost feels like you’re alone in the world doesn’t it?’
She sighs deeply as she moves around again, this time closer to me. I stiffen a bit when I feel her arm sneak around my waist, speeding up my heart immediately. My ears follow the rhythm of her breaths closely as they gently dance on the skin of my neck. 
Then she whispers softly. ‘I hate silence.’ 
Frowning I breath in deep when she leaves three little kisses on my neck before she lets out a yawn. ‘Goodnight Kimba.’ Cheryl whispers, calming me down by doing so. 
‘Sweet dreams Chez.’ I smile, stroking her arm underneath the covers.
Holding her as she falls asleep I repeat her words in my mind. And I slowly begin to realise that there’s a lot more meaning to them than I can understand right now.