Chim - Your Sound

Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Cheryl’s POV

In silence we sat near the pool. There was nobody there but us at this time of night, the distant sounds of the L.A. nightlife blended with crickets calling in the bushes. Above us a generous night sky filled with stars, and even at this time the temperature was amazing. Warm enough for us to lower our feet in the pool, both circling our feet to cause little waves. It has been years since I last saw Gary and he had changed a great deal. He was no longer a teenager with bad skin and skinny arms. I don’t think he had grown much in height but he looked older, he looked good.

There was a lot for me to explain, it all crosses my mind whilst we sit there. From beginning to end…how I left him, and how we had met again. Through the strangest circumstances by the way. I had no idea what brought him here, why Gary was living in Nadine’s house. I honestly didn’t know, but it had sparked a fire in me either way.

‘Gary, can I ask you something?’

It was the first thing I had said to him all night. We had a strange relationship him and I, we knew we loved each other but somehow we hardly ever spoke before I left. And since then…well, I honestly didn’t know who he was anymore. I could only hope he was the same sweet, and understanding man he was growing into when I last saw him. But who knew what had happened during all this time.

His smile however was still the same. ‘You may…’

Still focussing on my feet I began slowly, finding the right words along the way. ‘There’s a lot I want to ask you, and I’m sure you feel the same. But I have to know this first…’ I took a deep breath, fearing what he might answer with. ‘Are you angry with me?’

God knows he had every right to be, he could look me straight in the eye and accuse me of everything. How I’ve let him done, abandoned him. I’d take it all….but he doesn’t get mad, instead he moves back, leaning onto his elbows as he studies the sky. There’s even a hint of affection in his voice when he speaks calmly. ‘No, I’ve never been.’

‘Never?’ I couldn’t believe that, yet he stood firm.

‘Never. I was sad when you left the first time…when granddad died. I still remember that day you know, how they took away his things, how you said your goodbyes and left with Will. It was hard, but I had a few really good years with aunt, she took care of me like I was her own. I often thought about you, where you were, what adventures you were on. I wish I was there with you, that we could do these things together. But then, when I noticed the change in you after mum died I had to let you go Chez. It sounds harsh but I had to.’

Silence falls upon us again, the air thick as his words get through to me. He had to let me go when things changed, when I changed. Those were hard times, when I lived carelessly. Always on the road with my friends, the parties, the bad influences, the booze, the drugs. Of course he had to let me go, I was miles away yet he had to hear of my life going downhill. He must’ve been worried sick.

‘I remember a few of those phone calls.’ My voice is weak, I sound exactly as I feel right now.

Gary nods slowly, his mind wandering back to when he called me up, begging me to sort my life out when I was on the other end stinking drunk or in an even worse state of mind. He always told me I could come back home, but I’d rather have died to be honest.

‘Were you happy? Back then?’

I stifle a laugh, those were the worst days of my life looking back now. ‘I thought so at first, and there were good times but…No, I wasn’t.’

‘…I’m happy you said goodbye to that life Cheryl. I really am.’ His hand takes mine, squeezing it softly. A simple gesture that literally brings tears to my eyes. He’s always been such a caring and sensitive boy. It means the world to me that he’s still like that. How his brown eyes look into mine with love. I truly believe he’s happy for me and I wonder if he knows how my life changed. If Nadine told him that I have a real career now, that I’ve settled down with the woman I love…