Chim - Your Sound

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Cheryl’s POV

‘Go on then dimples.’ I look back at him for a final approval before I take Gary’s hand and run off. He’ll follow us I think to myself, he always does. Our footsteps echo through the long white and empty hall as we run. We’re not allowed to, but I don’t want to lose any time, it’s been three months. I know so because I counted the days on my calendar, the one with all the animals on them. It’s been too long since I’ve seen her, and I’ve missed her so much. It was all I could think about, at school, at home, in my bed at night. And I made sure to remember everything correctly. Her face, her smile, and the big red door. 

Seated on the cold floor I stare at her picture, as the memories take over. I forgot it was there, right between some of my granddad’s. How typical. Sighing I run my index finger along her fabricated features on the picture, it’s exactly as I remember her.  Her short dark hair, her brown eyes and faint smile. Always that faint smile, lost in another world. 

I swallow hard before I open the big red door in front of us. Trying to keep down the excitement that’s running through my veins. Finally. As soon as the door opens Gary tightens his grip on my hand, and together we step into the room. There she is.

She was always there, right on that very spot for as long as I can remember. As if she never moved. I used to count the times I’d visit her as a child, never knowing why I really did that. But somehow I stopped when I grew older, as she grew older. I often think about the last time I spoke to her. I remember the exact date and what she wore. But then again, she always wore the same thing. Granddad didn’t come with me that time, he couldn’t anymore. Neither did Gary, he already stopped visiting her for a while then. Oh Gary, he hated that place.

As we slowly move forward Gary suddenly stops, a frightened expression on his face. I pull his hand a little, encouraging him to move along but he shakes his head, looking back to see if granddad is already here. He is, of course and as he moves beside us he picks Gary up with his strong arms, nodding to me that I can go along. I breath in deeply as my eyes scan the backside of that leather chair she’s always in. She doesn’t know I’m in here yet, but I can see her. She’s really here.

‘Mum.’ I whisper as I move next to her.

I know she can’t hear me but that doesn’t matter, I just feels good to say it out loud.

‘Mum.’ This time I briefly touch the exposed skin on her arm, scanning her absent posture.

I cover my mouth with my hand as that image of her crosses my mind. Sadness taking over, the tears withholding me from looking at that picture any longer. All I wanted, for as long as I can remember is for her to speak to me, to acknowledge that I was there. I know she did a long time ago but I was too young to know, just a baby. She always looked at me though, every time that I would stroke her arm to great her. Granddad told me that she knew who I was, and that she loved me with all her heart. That angels had taken little pieces away from mum, and that everything would turn out right in the end. He always tried to make it sound better, but it didn’t change the facts.

Her eyes find mine as she turns her head towards me, and she looks exactly like she always does. Weary eyes and a faint smile. I smile broadly at her and I move my hands up to greet her. ‘Hi mum.’ I speak up, knowing she can see my lips move. She doesn’t say anything, she never does. But I move my fingers again, just like granddad taught me. ‘Gary’s here too.’ I point at him, but he hides his face in granddads sweater. Granddad nods at me, signalling me it’s ok.

‘I got something for you.’ Not getting a response I decide to get it out anyways. And reaching into my pocket I take out a picture I drew.

It’s one of me, granddad, mum and Gary, all dancing around at a party. Well, my birthday party to be precise. She had to miss it, but she always does so I’m used to it. All my pets are on it too, their names written above their heads.