lioness // phan

Chapter 16 ~ Goodbye Internet

*TRIGGER WARNING*

This is a very triggering chapter, it is going to be mentioning some really tough things and i want you guys to know that if you have any type of mental illness i am here for you and i love you <3

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The next day i awoke with a huge hangover. My head was spinning and i felt super sick. It felt like i was inside a room that had a huge beeping sound playing over and over. A panic room.

God... yesterday was my birthday. All the memories began to flood back to me and i sat up and sighed.

Crap.

My father gets out today.

I got out of bed, made an effort to put on a jumper and some leggings. I brushed my hair and threw it up in a ponytail. I walked downstairs to greet an also hungover, Dan and Phil.

"How you feeling Lea?" Dan asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and held my head, smiling a little.

"Same," He replied.

"So me and Dan are going to go to the shop in a while, anything you want?" Phil asked.

I shook my head and gave him a small smile. I didn't want any food. I had been doing really well up until yesterday. God, i'm an idiot. But i guess i made up for it by being sick after drinking so much. That was a really bad idea.

Dan and Phil returned upstairs and i sat down on the couch. I put on mean girls, and cuddled up into a blanket. Dan and Phil came back after about 20 minutes, dressed and looking much better than me.

"So its about 1pm now," Dan said. Was it really 1pm?! God i slept in so late!

"Were gonna probably be about an hour, maybe more depending on traffic," Phil said.

"You sure you don't wanna come?"

I shook my head, i just wanted a bit of alone time if i'm quiet honest.

They smiled and said their goodbyes, and as i heard the car drive out the drive way, i relaxed a bit. It was nice to get away from their enlargements and all the shouting. I was getting quite sick of it actually.

The messages were still happening, i got hate every day. It hurt, but i took it better than i did before. I would punish myself instead of punishing anybody else. I know that i was holding onto a tight thread, and that if anything else happened; i would collapse.

10 minutes later, i heard a knock at the door. Its probably George, i thought.

I thought wrong.

It all happened so fast, he grabbed my mouth to stop me from talking, and shoved me and him through the door, throwing me to the floor.

"This is payback for sending me down!" He shouted.

He kicked me, hard. I was hit, punched, kicked, over and over. It felt like a never ending torment.

I cried out, trying to get away but my body was weak.

"Please stop," I yelped.

"Kill yourself you brat! This is all your fault! Its your fault your brother left us, its your fault your mother died! Its all your fault!" He said, screaming at me.

"I know it is! I know!" I cried out.

"Poor Leona! Shes depressed! She starves! She cuts! Her mother is dead! She gets bullied? She goes mute? POOR YOU!" He spat.

"Maybe if you didn't hurt me i wouldn't be such a failure! I do everything for you and this is how you repay me! I tried so hard to be the best daughter and pretend your abuse didn't hurt me BUT IT DOES!" I screamed.