Act's Of Love: A Lemma Fic

The Start

Emma's PoV

There were posters all around school showing off auditions for the Christmas play that this kid, Luke, in the year above me was planning on creating. I was actually shocked that he was allowed to post these posters on the walls. This school was so strict about the way its walls and students looked that I would think that they would never let somebody post hand-made posters around the school. Let alone posters for something that the school had no control over. The only thing that they gave him was the drama room every day after school. He managed to get his own cameras, computers, and he somehow knew how to work the lights that were in there. Why would I even want to audition anyways? Apart from the fact that I wouldn't get in even if I did audition for any part, why would he want a scrawny kid with black hair who doesn't even know how to do their own eyeliner? Ugh, even when I follow the tutorials on YouTube, I still end up looking like a Panda who got into an massive fight. Why would he want somebody like me being known for being in his film? There were tons of other girls my age that were hotter, prettier, and a lot smarter than me! They could easily get a part. Easily...At that moment I heard my name being called from the other end of the hallway. I guess that meant that Amanda was here. I glanced up at the clock on the wall. She was here early for a change. Normally she would get here twenty seconds before the bell for form time rang, but this time she was way earlier. I didn't know whenever to be happy or shocked. Sighing, I took a step away from the poster and started to make my way towards her. As soon as I got close to her she thrust something into my hands. It was a leaflet version of the poster that I just saw. Did she want to sign up for it? I mean, she easily could get in. She was the top of our drama class! Unless, for some stupid reason, she thought that I would be able to sign up to become a musician for the film or something. Yeah, as if that would ever happen.

Even though I had read the poster, I still opened up the leaflet and flicked through it. It was pretty much the same information. The only difference was that the writing was more bold and there were a few more pictures. They were just of the drama room and Luke himself but...but they were still amazing. Ugh, I wanted to sign up so badly. I wanted to sign up for this so badly. Yet I knew that front the moment that I walked into that room I was just going to get asked to leave again. I just knew it. I didn't have the 'theatre look' about me, I couldn't act, and I was horrible at making friends. I had only managed to become friends with Amanda at the start of this year. I doubt that I would be any kind of social if I somehow got onto the movie set. People would probably try to talk to me, but I knew that I would just ignore them or do very, very, very small talk. That wasn't the kind of person that Luke wanted for this movie. He wanted people who were strong, brave, extroverted, and optimistic in every single aspect of life! Why would he even think about having a wimpy, shy, introverted, pessimist kid who was a year younger than him? Why would he want that at all?! What was the point in even trying to audition for the music role? Ugh, let alone any role. I loved music so freaking much...I would kill to sing like Ginger Spice or Gerard Way, yet when I actually tried to do such things, I must sound like a cat getting crushed in a vice...Horrible. I feel sorry for my Dad who has to listen to me singing in the shower every morning and night. It must be horrible for him. Why was I even looking at this in the first place? What was the point of it all?

With a hefty sigh, I closed the weird paper/plastic-y material, handed it back to Amanda, and started to walk towards our form room. She called after me, asking where I was going. For some stupid reason, I started to feel angry again. I got angry at nearly everything nowadays. No matter what happened, if it inconvenienced me in the slightest, I got angry. Even I had to admit that it was stupid the things that I raged about. The last time that I dropped my pen in class, I literally straight-up swore at it, picked it back up, and scribbled on the back of my hand until all of the ink ran out. I glanced down at my hand now. Of course, my Dad asked me to wash off the mess as soon as I walked into the door to my house, but the twenty minutes that I spent scrubbing didn't really work out that well to be honest. There was still a faded patch of black pen ink covering the entire back of my hand. I sometimes hated the way that I reacted to things. Most of the time, it was just plain stupid. I overreacted to nearly everything and I hated the ever living crap out of that. That was another reason why Luke would be less inclined to accept me to this place. He would obviously know about my anger issues, as the entire freaking school knows about it now, and he would probably think that I was insane or crazy...I hated it! I hated my brain so freaking much. When I got to the top of the stairs and started to walk down the hallway in which my form room was on, Amanda rushed up behind me, flung her arms around my neck, and instantly asked if I was alright. I felt my arms lift up to push her off from me, yet I somehow managed to stop myself from doing so. Calm down, Emma...She didn't mean to hurt you. You don't have to push her. I sighed again, gently moved her arms away from me, and took a step back. I had no idea how to answer her. I wasn't alright...I was going through another one of my 'mad' spells...Would she understand that, though? Would she understand? I had no freaking idea if she would or not...For all I know she could think that I was utterly insane!