Entry #39

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Dear Autumn,

I honestly thought you'd ignore me because of my confession. But you didn't. I think that's because I'm the only one here for you.

I'm kind of happy about that though.

Because Autumn, you are broken now. Like me, but in a different sense. You smile to hide your pain. I don't.

I guess that makes you stronger than me. But then again, you always were.

The only thing that's unusual now is that you look at me differently. Ever since that day, I haven't spoken one word.

But I think you know now. You know that I'm August. The boy you used to love.

(That is, if you were even saying the truth).

But now I know.

I know why you cried.

You told me yesterday. It was afterschool again, and you were reading a book on one of the school's benches. You were looking sad, your eyes full of tears again.

So I came up to you and sat right beside you. I thought that maybe something unexpected happened in the book you were reading

So I gently took it out of your hand. And then I read the pages you were staring at.

I was still confused. So I asked you what was wrong.

And then you started crying, but this time, silently.

I tried comforting you, but I didn't understand.

And then you said five little words that crashed down my world:

"That's what happened to Ryan."

And then I started crying too.

I'm so sorry,
August

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