Entry #49

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Dear Autumn,

Today my dad forced me to go back to school again. He finally decided to take part in my life today. And it's not because he cares or anything, he just didn't want to be known as the father of the messed up kid who never leaves the house.

That's expected though. Since no one cares about me anyway these days.

And I thought you wouldn't care about me either too. But today, you sat with me during lunch despite ignoring you for so long. You tried to lighten the mood, but I wouldn't even look at you. So you grabbed my hand and forced me look at you. And then you wiped the tear that slid down my cheek, telling me that it hurt to see me cry.

And then you told me you loved me. And I told you that I knew that.

But that's when I knew that you might still care for me.

But Autumn if you really did care you wouldn't have done what happened next. You wouldn't have forced me to eat lunch, something that I never do. You wouldn't have yelled at me when I refused. You wouldn't have told me that you didn't know what to do with me anymore.

And I'm sorry. Because now that I think about, maybe you were trying to take care of me after all. But I still can't do it, Autumn.

I really can't.

August


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