All To Myself [one direction]

Chapter 13

Zayn then pulled out the car keys from his pocket and swung them in between his fingers. He offered me a warm smile before heading to the door and unlocking it; he held it open encouragingly, so I could jump in.

For a moment, I wanted to turn around and run back home. I felt like I was burning, my chest felt tightened and the feelings in my stomach were growing even more agonizing. Yet, as I saw how much Zayn wanted this -his face glimmered under the light of the street lamp, his smile adding to the endearing twinkle in his eyes- I couldn't disappoint him. I thought back to the moment in front of the mirror. I felt confident, and excited; so, I tried to transfer that energy back to this situation -which after a couple of deep breaths- I managed to get back. The nerves, however, were still patronizing me but I simply remember trying to stay confident.

I walked towards the door, smiling timidly at Zayn as I brought my right hand to clasp over the rounded object around my throat.

Think of home, I said to myself as I jumped hastily into the car.

I could smell an air of cologne as soon as I got inside the vehicle but I also recognised it was to disguise the smell of something else -tobacco. So, he was a smoker.

Zayn shut the door as his eyes remained on me and sprung to the driver's side, getting in slightly rushed.

I fiddled with the hem of my dress, avoiding his eyes. I had controlled my nerves, but I couldn't yet control the feelings in my chest; my lungs felt somewhat compressed and it was hard getting a coherent breath out. But I tried to not make it noticeable.

"You alright?" Zayn's tone sounded concerned and I knew my silence and awkward behaviour was bound to look suspicious.

Get yourself together Dion, I told myself as if Monroe were telling me off.

"Y-Yes," I replied, turning around to meet his dark gaze. I forced a smile to reassure him, as I let go off my dress and tapped my knee. "You rented a much nicer car this time," I began to conversate trying to become comfortable, as I looked at how modern the dashboard on the car was. The entire car, was beautiful; the seats smooth and leathery, and the edges around the doors and windows emitted a warm blue light that made me feel as though I was in a superhero's automobile.

Zayn let out a throaty chuckle as he began to bring the engine to life, "it's not a rent," he swung an arm over my seat -that made me catch a breath, from the near proximity of his presence- and turned his head to look back, as he reversed the car, completely dismissing my uneased expression. "It's actually my car," he added as his eyes travelled to my face and I noticed the edge of his mouth twitch into a smirk.

I instantly looked away, feeling my cheeks flush. "It must have cost you a fortune," I mumbled, not knwoing what else to say.

Zayn then pulled back his arm, and let it hang over the stirring wheel. "Well, being in the band does have it its privilages."

I turned my head and added nothing else, as I took in his answer. It seemed quite arrogant of him saying that, but perhaps that was just my interpretation of his words.

My silence must have hinted at my thoughts as he added, "well, it brought me to meeting you."

His words made my heart beat at an alarming speed, and I had to grip the seat for composure. I let out a sigh knowing it came out curtly disconnected, yet I tried to disguise it by immidiately shutting my mouth.

"Sorry again," Zayn muttered apologetically, my diguise proving disasterous.

I bit my tongue, not enjoying the fact that Zayn kept apologising. I felt pitiful and guilty for having him feel this way, and I suddenly turned my head to his direction though he was already looking ahead, driving silently.