All To Myself [one direction]

Chapter 34

"Dion, I want you to be my girlfriend."

Those words echoed in my head hollowly as my head felt dizzy and diserorentated. I had hundreds of screaming fans around me, and only I was visible in Zayn's eyes. There were hundreds of people around me and I felt like drowning.

"Zayn-" I mumbled, my palms beginning to sweat.

"Will you?" Zayn beamed again, stepping closer and holding both of my hands to his chest. His eyes shifted rapidly between my eyes trying to catch my answer in them. "Please say yes..."

It was like someone was strangling me. I felt like screaming, as the voice in my head kept telling me to confess the truth to him.

"Harry kissed me that night." I whispered lowly, having enough of the pressure around me. I couldn't take it anymore.

I thought Zayn hadn't heard me as there was pure silence for a moment; however, as I looked up into his eyes I saw that his features had changed completely. His jaw was filmly shut, straining his cheek bones as his eyes were narrowly staring blankly ahead. His hands were still secure around me, but as I saw the look on his face I began to regret telling him the truth there and then.

"Zayn?" I asked softly, trying to make him look at me. "Please don't do anything, it was a mistake, I don't know what he was thinking, I'm so sorry, I-" I began to ramble trying to justify the situation as if it needed any justification. However, Zayn abrutly removed his hands away from mine and stormed away from me.

"Zayn!" I called after him, but he didn't turn back.

His coat bellowed behind him, as the wind swirled violently around him. Zayn pushed his way past a security guard that was beside the barrier restraining some pushing fans trying to touch the boyband, and headed straight to Harry Styles.

A hand was curled around Harry's collar and was pushed against the wall, as Zayn's towering figure looked at him dead in the eye. He leaned forwards and flared at Harry as he mumbled something to him. Harry looked taken aback and his eyes suddenly shot towards me, but a tug at his collar pulled his vision away from me.

Three memeber of their management suddenly rushed to their side and began to break up the obvious confrontation. The same guy that had told me to stay away from Zayn, began to make his way towards me.

I gulped, and my eyes swelled as I felt guilty for the situation and wanted to just go home and never come out again.

"You need to go." The voice warned me straight away. "I heard the conversation between them, and this is not good at all. I tried to make it as easy for you to understand, but it seemed you didn't listen. You will go, sweetheart. Whatever made Zayn lash out like that, has now been captured on cameras and will be top headlines tomorrow." He sighed heavily and ran his hand over his hair in frustation. "If you are seen near him in the slightest, I promise you there will be consequences. We are going to try and cover this event as much as possible and leave your name out of the media, but I swear that if come near this band again we will not be holding back again."

I looked at him wide-eyed, having the words fired at me and feeling my stomach twist inside me.

"You want what's best for him, don't ya sweetheart?" But before I could even nod, the tears began to flow from my eyes and he added oblivious to my suffering. "So you will do what I say, alright. I'm trying to protect you too, keep that in mind." He tapped my shoulder as he looked at me in concern before taking his phone out. "I'm having you taken home straight away, you will have Zayn out of your life completely." And he began to speak on the phone as he left me standing completely alone.

I saw the band's team trying to calm everyone's reactions to witnessing the scene, and had One Direction enter the building as soon as possible shutting the doors behind them. I covered my eyes, and wiped my tears away to no use as I saw a car rolling into view and stopping right in front of me.

The journey home felt dreadful. I sobbed uncontrollably as I felt as though a piece of my heart was ripped away from me. And as I saw the building swish past me in a blur, I felt a growing sense of fear erupt inside me. What was I going to do now?

As I thought about everything that I went through with Zayn, and how much I had changed as a person I felt like was going to crumble to pieces again. I needed Zayn in my life, he had helped me to become a more confident person. Not only was I thankful for that, I felt I needed his presence in my life.

I had grown fond of him and felt secure around him. I liked the way my hand fit perfectly in his like it was made just for him. And the way he knew how I was feeling before I even had the chance to tell him. I liked the way, he held my gaze and saw the insecurities inside them, the he allowed me to see the stars in his eyes and enter his world and feel accepted.

I liked the way he kissed my lips and held my waist. I liked the way he mentioned my name and rubbed circles in my back. I liked the feeling he gave me in the pit of my stomach whenever he complimented me or looked at me like I was the only girl in the world. I liked the way he made me feel comfortable and let my walls come down.

And most of all...

I liked the way I was beginning to fall in love with him.

A burning feeling blistered in my heart as a longing ache stirred in my chest. However, as much as I was already missing him, I remember telling myself that I had to do this.

I wanted to save him, but I knew I could only save myself. The attention that I would risk by seeing him again would swallow me and eventually drown me. I wouldn't forgive myself if I had to put Zayn through misery in seeing me in pain nor would I forgive myself if I brought trouble to the band.

I had come between them, and that was the last thing I ever wanted to do.

The car rolled into my parking lot, having followed my address from the TomTom on his dashboard. The driver turned off the engine and turned to look at me.

"Sorry about all this," He watched my crying eyes in sympathy and offered me an apologetic smile.

I knew this wasn't his fault, he was just doing his job, though I felt like punching him in the face. I remember thinking, how on earth could he feel sorry for me, he didn't even know me. He didn't know I felt like I wanted to close my eyes and never have the light of day reach my eyes again.

He could feel as sorry as he wanted, but I was never going to forget about Zayn.

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So, I thought this chapter was quite sad to write :'( What did you guys think of it?

I just want to also tell you, that Cigarettes, chapter 2 has been uploaded and I really really really want you guys to read it and tell me what you think. I'm super excited about that new story, as it's quite dark and very different to this, but it's still a One Direction fanfiction and I'm sure you guys will enjoy it as much as you enjoy this one!

So please check it out and give me some feedback, it would mean the world!

Also, comments on this chapter wouldn't be too bad either haha xo.