All To Myself [one direction]

Chapter 31

During dinner that night, my parents were questioning me about the exam and how it went. I lied and said it went great, trying very hard to hide the gloomed expression which was begging to show on my features. I ate the food, even though my stomach carried a displeasing sensation throughout. I felt immensely guilty about not telling Zayn the truth and the thought about him finding out from someone else, made my head spin.

“You still haven’t gushed about your date to me!” Mother began as I was helping her to clean the dishes.

“There’s nothing to gush about.” I muttered, drying the plates as she passed them to me. “My head still hurts…” I added as an excuse to get out of the conversation.

Mum only gave me a look that she knew I was lying, but dropped the subject nonetheless.

“Won’t you see him again?” She asked once we dried everything.

“Actually, he wants me to join him at his premiere but-“

“Already?” Mother grinned with pride. As soon as I saw her look, I instantly regretted telling her; however, I knew I had to ask for her permission so the topic was bound to come up regardless.

"Yeah, but I don’t know. I’m not feeling to go…”

“Don’t be silly.” She contorted as she brought me in between her arms and hugged me.

“I don’t think I can deal with everyone watching, though.”

“Dion, you can’t stay hidden in the house for the rest of your life. You have to face the world, honey. You’re turning eighteen in two weeks and you’re still scared about meeting people or being seen in public. You have to grow up!”

“Mum-“

“Don’t ‘mum’ me. I want to look out for you, but I won’t be with you forever. You have to learn to cope on your own and face your fears.”

I huffed in frustration, knowing very well that her words stung me because they told the truth.

“But I don’t want to go!” I began to well up.

“You’re going to go sweetheart. It’ll be a lovely experience, and you’ll learn from it.”

"What am I going to learn? If anything I’m going to be hated!”  I flared my arms around in the air for emphasis as I got more and more scared about being in the spotlight in front of hundreds of people.

“Hated?! Dion, you ought to stop being so negative. Why must you assume everything will turn out badly?”

I groaned in frustration, as I stomped my foot on the ground not wanting to let my mum win this. I knew I was acting childish, but I wasn’t ready for change. I was already being too brave and I had enough.  I never had to explain myself to anyone because I had never done any bad things, and I was beginning to feel sick knowing that I was going to have to tell Zayn everything.

“Stop crying and go revise, come on.” She smacked my bottom lightly as she began to push me out of the kitchen.

“Exactly! I have exams!” I moaned trying to make the exams the excuse for not going.

“Your maths exam will be the last one this week, so an evening of fun will do you good. You never go out, so stop and go upstairs!”

With that she left me alone and went to join my father in the living room. I was left to rant on my own as I took out my science revision guide and sat down on the floor trying to concentrate for tomorrow’s biology exam.

On Thursday morning, after two days of not talking to Zayn or about Zayn for that matter, I was beginning to feel anxious about seeing him in the evening. After further convincing from both my mum and dad, I had given in and agreed to go. Mum had bought me three dresses for the occasion, but when she received a package that morning bearing my name, she realised that I had been sent a dress to wear instead.