Chapter [30]

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The songs for this chapter are:

-Helpless: Neon Trees

-Boulevard of Broken Dreams: Green Day

-Heart Attack: Enrique Iglesias (I had been searching for this song for a while and I cried when I found it. Pathetic, I know....lol)

-Same Old Love: Selena Gomez

-Aftertaste: Shawn Mendes

-I See Fire: Ed Sheeran

There are a ton of songs for this chapter, I know, I just couldn't choose. So many damn emotions in this chapter and I don't even know how it ended up being so long.....

In demographics, I can see the parts of the world where my book is being read, comment where you are from if you want. I'm in Oregon.... Enjoy this chapter!

"Selena!"

Gabriela's voice echoes behind me, but I don't want to look at her. I can't look at her anyway, my tears come again in full force, pushing their hardest against my eye lids, until I can't contain it anymore. I let the pain show.

It's blinding.

She can't be my step-sister. She can't.

Out of all people, why is my wagon somehow now hitched to hers? It can't be possible. My dad was always such a loyal person, so loving and caring. But all this time.... all this time....

"You said my dad didn't know about you?" I suddenly stop. My feet plant themselves on the old tile to finally turn around to face her. The bruise on her cheek sends a small fragment of sympathy back into my heart, but I push it aside. I don't want to show weakness for someone who just merely succeed at making my life a living hell.

My arms wrap around myself in protection as she nods slowly.

"Our dad," the words sting, "my mother never told anyone. It was a long time ago. No one ever knew."

I nod, "Good." My sister furrows her brow, as I back away from her, "that's the way its going to stay."

"You can't be serious!" her fingers grasps around mine suddenly and I shake it out of her grasp.

My words are venomous and it sounds so unlike myself, "Watch me. It's better if we stay far, far away from one another."

Who am I?

"I don't want to hide anymore. Aren't you afraid of pretending?" she asks.

"I'm not pretending."

She tilts her head down, "So does that mean you live your life every day exactly the way you want to live it? With the people you always want by your side? I don't. I hate what I have now and I want your help. You are the only person who is good."

I take her words into consideration. The old Selena would have draped her arm over this girls shoulders and offered to help her with anything. But this Selena, this me, over analyzes everything she does. I have too. I can't skip corners and flip through this journey because I will always end up hurting myself one way or another.

You take it all a day at a time, a moment in a moment, or you fracture yourself before the story even truly begins.

"Good people are weak." I mumble, finally letting my voice show how broken I really am, "No one asks if I am okay and I'm both grateful and disappointed. The life you live everyday doesn't just somehow happen. There is always a plan, someone always gets hurt, someone wins, but you don't choose it, it chooses you."

"Or you can leave it altogether." Gabriela whispers making the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

I shake my head, "Then you are even weaker than me."

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