Relationships - A MDE FanFiction

Chapter 23

*1 week later*

Alex's P.O.V

"Tomorrow's the day" Johnnie said in a sullen tone, grabbing my hand and finding a seat next to me on my bed. Both of us perched on the end, it wasn't much comfort but neither was this conversation.

"Please don't remind me" I begged, practically bursting into tears but fighting them back for the sake of Johnnie. He still didn't know what I did on the last day. These two weeks have been the best two weeks I've had in years. Meghan moved in so Kyle was always happy and Jeydon has been talking to Sam non-stop over Skype so that was great too. With Jordan moving in a few weeks and Sam still to come, the house was nearly home.

"I'm sorry" Johnnie replied, flipping his head so his fringe got out of his eyes. His eyes were like portals - his eyes told me what he really was feeling. Seeing tears welling, I could tell that he was dreading school tomorrow; despite what he told me.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be taking it out on you" I told him, getting closer to his face as our eyes locked.

"It's fine. I know you're stressed but it'll be fine" Johnnie tried comforting me.

"It's alright. I'm alright" I smiled falsely. I didn't want Johnnie to be worrying about me. I'm sure I would be okay...wouldn't I?

"Stop!" Johnnie demanded suddenly in a quick, swift movement that resulted in my heart skipping a beat as a worried expression reached my face and Johnnie dropped his hands by his side so we were no longer holding hands. The expression on his face was an expression of annoyance. What did I do to annoy him?

"Stop what?" I asked innocently with a bit of a sharp tone.

"Stop pretending. You're not okay and you're not happy with going back to school" Johnnie raised his voice slightly, trying to emphasise the importance of what he was saying.

"I am. Of course I'm not totally happy because it's school but I'm fine" I fake smiled again, grabbing Johnnie's hand before he pushed it away and stood up in annoyance.

"What? Stop pushing me away Johnnie!" I responded.

"No! I'm not the one pushing you away, you're the one pushing me away! You're not telling me what you're feeling because you're always "fine" but no! You're more upset then you let on and I don't want you to go back to the way you was before" Johnnie stressed out with big hand gestures.

"The way I was?! Are we really going to go there again? What about you? Why is it always me that is the failure that needs to tell their feelings to everyone and not you? I'm not the only one with scars up their arms! You are as well so why is it always me that's the failure?!" I screamed out while, half-way through my dialogue, I broke down and started crying. It's always me! It's not fair! He doesn't know I still do it so why focus on me? He used to do it too! It was so aggravating.

"I can handle it and most of mine have faded" Johnnie spoke with a lump in his throat as if he was going to cry.

"Most. They're still some and I can't handle it too so stop worrying. I'm okay and it's okay" I comforted Johnnie. I wish I could scream at him that I'm not okay and it's not alright but I just couldn't. No fibre in my being would allow me to tell him and I didn't even know why. Fear? Fear maybe. I didn't want him to know the monsters in my head.

"Whatever you say. I'm going downstairs" Johnnie moaned as he step foot out of my room and downstairs.

I couldn't handle this right now. With school and now this, my life was destine to be a misey and I didn't know how much of this I could take.

Kyle's P.O.V

"The way I was?! Are we really going to go there again? What about you? Why is it always me that is the failure that needs to tell their feelings to everyone and not you? I'm not the only one with scars up their arms! You are as well so why is it always me that's the failure?!" I heard Alex scream/sob from upstairs and we all knew instantly, apart from Meghan, what it was about. Meghan looked a bit shocked and worried. She's settled in great and, with Alex and Shannon she's found two friends to confide in. I'm so glad that this move worked out because it's meant that our relationship can strengthen and it has.

"What's happening up there?" Meghan asked, snuggled in my chest with my arm around her, looking up at me with her beautiful and angelic eyes.

"Alex and Johnnie fighting" Bryan told her before I could from the other side of the room as he sat next to Diego.

"Does this always happen?" Meghan asked worried.

"No. It's just....they've had a long and difficult past as friends and partners and sometimes knowing that past gets a bit difficult" Shannon, from the armchair next to us, spoke. Although she didn't know them both when she was younger, we told her everything to help them when tensions were high.

"Oh." Meghan replied simply to us. I could understand that it would be a but uncomfortable to talk about her friends relationship like that but we were only trying to help.

My train of though was interrupted by Johnnie walking downstairs in a sullen mood.

"We heard some shouting. Are you alright?" I asked Johnnie.

"Fine" Johnnie shrugged, walking past us and into the kitchen before he shut the door behind him.

"Go check on him babe" Meghan turned to me and kissed me on the cheek.

"Alright. Be right back guys" I told them, getting up on my feet and entering the kitchen while I shut the door carefully.

Johnnie was sat on the floor, head rested on his knees as he wrapped his arms around his legs.

"C'mon mate. Cheer up" I nudged him.

"I will it's just annoying. Alex keeps telling me she's fine and I know she's not!" Johnnie sounded frustrated.

"Maybe she is fine" I offered even though everyone knew she wasn't fine. Alex had been through a difficult past and sometimes that past comes back to haunt her. It's just a relief that she doesn't self-harm again.

"She's not fine. I can tell but she's not opening up to me. I admit, it's was hard for her to tell me what she was feeling when we were friends but it's even harder now and I don't know what to do" Johnnie looked up at me with desperation in his eyes. I sat down next to him and put one hand on his leg to comfort him.

"I know but it will work itself out. As long as Alex is happy and smiling that's all that matters and, right now she is, so stop worrying" I instructed Johnnie.

"Okay but if she starts looking the tiniest but unhappy that advice is going straight through the window. She's the definition of perfect and she deserves all the happiness she can get" Johnnie replied before getting up and walking into the living room with me following.

A/N

JOHLEX IS REALL!!! I updated my part last time and then a notification pops up for a new MDE video and I literally died!! I called it guys!! Anyway, thanks for reading! Remember, if you have any ideas for this book to message me ~ Tiffany xx