Relationships - A MDE FanFiction

Chapter 38

Alex's P.O.V

*trigger warning*

Tears were flowing down my cheeks. How did I let myself get back to this situation? I knew I couldn't let anyone else know and especially not Johnnie. I didn't want him to know how much of a failure I was. Cutting deeper and deeper, releasing more and more of my thoughts and feelings, I didn't realise the physical pain I was putting myself under. This time it hurt more and angered me into cutting more and more. Why was I the one who was always bullied? I don't do anything wrong! I just wanted to fade away and ignore everyone. I just needed Johnnie to know so he could help me...I knew that couldn't happen. There's not a lot of things I am certain about but I am definitely certain of the fact that Johnnie cannot know how pathetic I am.

After several minutes of directing all my emotions onto my arms and wrists, I stopped and stood up. Looking into the bathroom mirror, I wiped off the black mascara that stained my face and grabbed some toilet roll to wipe my nose. I look even more of a state than I usually do - if that's even possible. Once I had got up and wiped my nose, I caught a glimpse of red on the floor. This is where it all went wrong.

Blood. That's what it was. Once I noticed this, I seemed to have noticed the strange and warm feeling of liquid running down my hand and onto the white bathroom floor. Things then started blurring and almost started fading out as black appeared in the corner of my vision. I looked down and could make out the deep cut on my right wrist and the amount of blood that was seeping from it. My heartbeat then started racing as I knew the seriousness of the situation. I was going to faint from blood loss. Do I tell someone? I couldn't! Johnnie and everyone else would know! I couldn't let that happen! But then I couldn't just sit back and let myself faint! What if someone checked on me because I have been taking so long? I didn't want my baby to die so I knew I had to do something and that I had to do it fast. Feeling nauseous, I searched for a towel to put pressure on it. The scorching pain of putting the towel on it caused me to call out. With blurriness taking over, I attempted at calling out louder because I knew it was the thing I had to do for mine and Johnnie's unborn child. As I struggled to find my voice, I fell to the bathroom floor in a pool of my own blood.

A/N

FUCKING HELL IVE TAKEN FOREVER TO ACTUALLY UPDATE!! SO SORRY!! Lol you guys have probably all forgotten about this story anyway! I thought I would leave you with a cliffhanger as an apology *evil laugh* The chapter is really short and I'm sorry but I've got shit tonnes of revision to do and that...fun...

With the whole drama that is going on with MDE at the moment I personally do believe that Bryan is being unnecessary and I really do not like him :/ I don't mind if others do because he can be nice (sometimes) and we're all entitled to our own opinion but I'm just gonna say that I will be continuing the story as if nothing has happened but I'm going to remove Bryan from the story (sorry! I just can't write about him being sweet and kind to the rest when he really isn't) so I'm thinking of having him going off on a trip or something like that (savage af mate). Thanks to anyone who still reads this crappy story and sorry it took so long ~ Tiff x